[LSRN] Anti-Loot Box Law Causes Turmoil in Senate

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Anti-Loot Box Law Causes Turmoil in Senate

 

BY HAL APENIO

 

 

Los Santos, SA - On 4th December 2021, the United States Congress has voted in favor of a new law, aiming to regulate the abuses of the new online gambling business. One of the provisions, regulating loot boxes in particular, worries the San Andreas Senate, as loot boxes were their only source of new senators and officials.    

 

Most of those officials came out of a loot box

 

 

Supposed to protect children from abusive gambling practices, the new law against loot boxes is now causing a major political crisis in San Andreas. For our readers who are unaware of the practice, "loot boxes" are random sets of virtual objects that a player can buy, in a video game. Those items can increase their power or give them access to new clothes, gestures, dances, and more such things. 

 

Many a consumer association has criticized those for a long time, as they are seen as a form of gambling aimed at younger consumers. This week, the United States Congress agreed, voting in favor of this new bill: it now only needs to be signed into law by the president of the United States. However, this new change will vastly perturbate the day-to-day works of the San Andreas Senate, as loot boxes were their only source of new officials.

 

Quite a few citizens were surprised to see new senators appear, as if they had sprung from a hole in the ground like dwarves. It was never the case though, the governor buying a vast amount of loot boxes and giving their contents to the Democratic and Republican parties. They were then assigned to Senate seats, or director positions. 

 

This practice will no longer be viable once the law is signed, thus requiring a vast re-organization of the very way the government functions on its most basic level. For example, senators would have to actually actively engage in politics and in the media, connect with the people of San Andreas, and they may not even become a senator at all. Indeed, instead of being assigned to a Senate seat, they would need to actually be elected by actual individuals. What is seen as outrageous in the current situation - an elected senator? - would need to become the norm instead, vastly changing the political paradigm of the state. 

 

As a consequence, this also means senator Linn Rosenberg would be the last loot-box senator to be given a seat, the next ones needing to be voted in by the citizens of San Andreas. Our skilled journalists will of course observe the evolution of this situation, and keep you informed on the ways the SA Government will adapt to this new status-quo. 

 

 

The Los Santos Reliable Network (LSRN) is a dubious network of suspicious people, providing you with the most less reliable information around. Our articles are should be taken as seriously as a business saying they're "a family". 

 

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Edited December 4, 2021 by LSRN
Correction - United States CONGRESS, not Senate

[UTOPIA]

Username: BMONEY

Comment: Let the children gamble, it is their decision to make! Senate wasting their time trying to save children, has anyone actually ever seen a child? #Terrorism

[waterwings]

Username: Cruzranger

Comment: I'll have some of whatever the author of this article is on, please.

[Cocaine Capital]

Username:  Redheadedwarrior

Comment: Yea,last 5 senators no election, never even heard of them before, boom now they're in power. 

[Manny]

Username: Rosa's Dad

Comment: Truer words have never been spoken. They did come out of loot boxes and they were not even the rare ones. It was the kind that has 50% chance to give you nothing or just something totally useless. "Hey can I be a Senator?" - "Of course, son."

Edited December 4, 2021 by Manny

[LSRN]

Username: LSRN redaction

Comment: Correction: it is the United States CONGRESS, not Senate, that voted in the new bill. The article has been amended accordingly, we apologize for any inconvenience. We would hate to not give accurate and reliable information. 

[orca112]

Username: 21B

Comment: Career politician seems to be an aspiring path to go for these days. Make as much lobby cash as you can and then lean back watching the world burn whilst receiving retirement pay paid by the taxpayer after your term is over.

[L I C E]

Username: V
Comment: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

[knppel]

Username: TheRealCarrySaunders

Comment: Just wait for it, there's even more awkward concepts being developed in think-tanks currently, such as actually voting for democratically elected representatives and stuff

[Koko]

Username: oro

Comment: sigma grindset: quit the strip club, become a senator