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[The Hot Take] Gold Digger or Grave Digger?

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Thesekar    4


Gold Digger or Grave Digger?


A lot of people tend not to give a double take to couples with age differences - who's to judge an old flame between a 60 year old millionaire and a girl who legally cannot drink? Although, given that tendency, we might overlook the REAL oddities - such as a local Los Santos resident digging up their sugar daddy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you might want to do that double-take, because that ISN'T a meth head, but an actual dead body. We, here at The Hot Take, are here to dig the dirt up on this case.


You might be wondering who you know might actually be only pretending to be alive, but for the sake of privacy, we've elected to censor the names and identities of the necrophiliac and their... love interest. Earlier today it came to this writer's attention that, right under everyone's noses, this individual has been parading this corpse around on social media, like some sick and twisted version of Weekend at Bernie's. Here's an image of the cadaver in question:




Do you see this? That unnatural complexion, the limp posture, the total lack of facial expression - girl, that's not your man, that's a corpse! That's taking "getting your freak on" to a whole new level. It goes without saying that something like this is completely illegal in Los Santos, so that begs the question - just how far is our prospector digging for gold? Well, reader, this is where things get even more interesting.


With a bit of investigation, we found out that this individual and her deceased daddy have been together - for quite some time. "Till death do us part" has no meaning in this relationship. A few years back, this relationship was a true proper marriage. Small, private ceremony, friends and family mostly. But recently, a heart attack caused the old fart to kick the bucket, and he was buried in the Vinewood cemetery after another small, private ceremony.


Problem is, he was never ACTUALLY filed as dead. His pension benefits, everything, is still active, and going to their estate. To keep up the illusion, our fair lady has taken to digging up his grave, using his body as a prop to keep the IRS off her trail. We even have proof, as we visited the cemetery, looking for this individuals proper resting place.




It's a shame that his current resting place happens to be her bed, as even the dignity cannot be afforded to him after she grabs onto as much cash as she possibly could. That leads us to today. This writer has attempted to reach out for an interview, but could only sustain a short conversation via Facebrowser, as the deceased-diddler refused full conversation. Here are the contents of that short conversation:




She doesn't even bother to attempt to cover her tracks. No sudden appearances of Daddy Death, not even an answer to the request - just a heart, as if she was so smug to think that she didn't even have to deny the facts. 


This has been Jack, from The Hot Take, bringing the hottest takes directly to your web browser.



Edited by Thesekar
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KarMagick    79

**Comments are enabled on the article.**

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Naru    12

Username: mpeters
Comment: can't blame him, seen the two a couple times, she's hot

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Al-Malikah    70

Username: legalbeagle992
Comment:  you are mean young man! get a life!! 

Edited by Al-Malikah

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