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The hottest tea, the spiciest gossip, the fiercest commentary and no fucking censorship. We are the Los Santos VIXEN. Hope you've been doing your kegels, babe. Letter from the editor: Sis, stop reading the story and BE the story. Submit your gossip to our handy and under-fucking-utilized gossip submission form. Chop chop. Also Like, Subscribe, Share, is this your first time online? Click HERE ! LSVIXEN XOXO ❤️ Dining Review: Immaculate Tea & Glorious Vibes at "Jade Cafe" (4/5) (Located in Mission Row, Photocred: Jenna Song) Rating: 💋💋💋 💋 Find out what Four Kisses means here. Hey sunshines! Hope the day is greeting you well, babes! I know I've been writing a lot about Politics given that this is the season of politicking but allow me to sand all the ridges of your brain to form a polished and smooth bowling ball as you read this review. See, one of my goals in town has been to find a go-to spot for warm quality pu'er tea and a sense of grounding. Lo' and behold me and some of my coziest and kindest friends saw that Jade Cafe was open one glorious day and we decided to drop on in. Here's the tea. (Get it, because it's a tea house? God, call me butter cause I'm on a fucking ROLL!) I cannot overstate how thoroughly the decor arouses me physically and spiritually! 💮 (Top tier decor, functional and beautiful seating arrangements, appropriate lighting. I'm in heaven.Photocred: Jenna Song ) First things first. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. The place is a work of art. Every detail is beautifully crafted and the space is configured in such a way that encourages a good sense of flow from when you walk in to when you leave. I have no clue who designed and decorated but they should be getting some form of Interior Design award. The place fully embodies the personality of the offerings and allows the eye to wander from one piece of beauty to another. Floor seating is also ideal as it is very hard to fall if you are already on the ground, thus offering a nice safety feature and a comfy cozy sitting spot for tea sipping. The excellence in design strikes a perfect balance between maintaining visual interest without overloading me with maximalist design features. Major, major props to having a unique beauty of a business in this city. A fine service flow, though could be finer! 🍃 (The staff is wonderful and efficient, Photocred: Jenna Song) Now the process goes, you walk in and order, you wait by the window for your order, you go to sit and eat or sip. Now in practice this works fine albeit it sometimes results in the chefs needing to confirm the order with the guests especially when the place gets busy. In my heart of hearts I know that this place could use a server or two so guests can sit down and settle in. The place rings upscale even if the prices are low and I think they could not only do well to notch up prices slightly if it means table service. I usually do not recommend price raises, as a bonafide penny pincher, but in this case if it meant a bit more time to settle in and take in the beauty of the place I would be happy to dish a little extra! The staff is kind and wonderful and clearly know exactly what they're doing whether behind the counter or the kitchen, zero critique there. Tantalizing Tea and Tasty Things! 🍽️ (The fine finger food is tasty and the tea is perfection Photocred: Jenna Song) I ordered the pu'er tea and the radish cakes but I also snatched a Shrimp Shumai from my bestie, Jenna. Sitting down and sipping the toasty, tasty pu'er tea was a moment of peace and joy in this chaotic city we call Los Santos was glo-ri-ous. Amid the beautifully dim lights I shared a light meal and warm tea with people I love. It was a blessing. The price point being low and affordable was another phenomenal blessing. The radish/turnip cakes were cooked to perfection. As a Dim Sum junkie who has Dim Summed at the best places in Liberty City for years, Jade Cafe easily matches up on quality level and surpasses those places in "bang-for-your-buck" ALL IN ALL The experience of a calm, relaxing, and well decorated tea house in Los Santos is comparatively rare. We have strip clubs by the dozen. "Sleek" modern bars by the thousand, and quick-snag coffee shops by the quintillion. A tea house is a relative rarity so it peaks my curiosity and gains my attention. I am more than happy with Jade Cafe and I look forward to dropping in again for a little snack and sip. With great decor, excellent pricing, kind staff, and tasty offerings, the good outweighs the lack of table service that might otherwise raise the score to it's lofty potential. By all means next time you find yourself in Mission Row, do drop in. You won't regret it, cuties. XOXO, DISCLAIMER >Comments are enabled!
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