[LSVIXEN] Dining Review: Exclusively Packed, Noisy, and Sweaty Dining at "Nobu" [2/5]

[Al-Malikah]

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 Dining Review: Exclusively Packed, Noisy, and Sweaty Dining at "Nobu"
Rating: 💋 💋

 

 

When I heard that someone bought out the owner of LettuceBe, I have to admit I was a bit sad because it was the best vegetarian restaurant in Los Santos with the best price points, wonderful staff, and phenomenal décor and atmosphere, I outline all of that in my past review (wink wink nudge nudge). Most of my joy with LettuceBe was that it was a place that stuck out like a sore thumb in the incredibly vapid corridors of Portola Drive. A person could get a high class meal without bankrupting themselves and dine in relative ease and peace.

 

It's truly tragic that the things that made LettuceBe shine are what make Nobu flash and flicker out.

 

Artificially inflated attendance 🤮

 

To get in I had to actively court a friend who slunk me in on her reservation. Now in the Review business there are two types of restauraunts that do this. Those that are forced to by genuine high demand and those who shrink their business hours and create arbitrary obstacles in order to create the illusion of high demand.

Unfortunately as I would learn, Nobu fell into the latter category. The place was packed with a who's who of 'easily tricked by a long line of shiny cars' and the room hung heavy with body heat and loud with the chatter from the other tables. It was hard to keep my conversations straight over dinner due to the sheer amount of bodies in the room. Exclusivity is nice, but without offering a truly unique experience it's more of a drag than a benefit.

 

The food was passable, if expensive 🤑

 

Nobu gets a kiss for food because it was absolutely delicious, everyone at my table left quite happy if a bit hungry. Portion sizes are always a bit of a consideration at these sorts of restaurants so I'm not docking them a kiss just because they are playing by the "Rockford Housewife Restaurant" playbook. The food was expensive, but what else could be expected when they approach dining experiences much in the way that a club might slowly let people in in order to create a line outside to lend a street-view impression of demand. LettuceBe shined because it had great food at prices that folks could afford, Nobu is a little duller because it's great food that's inaccessible in price to most. 

 

 

Borrowed décor, but fabulous staff 😐

 

See that picture? I didn't even need to take a new one from my last review of the location because Nobu's interior design was barely different than the past restaurant. I'm not sure what to say; the ambiance was lovely when I experienced it many months ago, it loses a little flavor when the rebrand is mostly in how the restaurant approaches advertising and guest management.

 

The staff however are top notch, from the front desk to the servers, everyone was kind, courteous, and charming. They even had a limo driver outside to really sell the "I need to apologize to my wife with a fancy dinner" angle. 

 

ALL IN ALL

 

Nobu felt like a blast from the past. As in I felt I had literally sat in the same room a few months ago eating a meal that was just as good for a third of the price without hearing half of Becky's conversation about her latest cyst a mere five feet away. The food was phenomenal, the staff were charming, the atmosphere was meh, and the artificial packing of the place was just a touch too obvious for the discerning eye. I give Nobu two kisses, because just like the stars of Vinewood, it'll flash bright and fade quick. 

But definitely try to enjoy it while it lasts! XOXO

 

DISCLAIMER

 

Spoiler

LS Vixen (bitch ass) Disclaimer

The LS Vixen is a satire, parody, commentary, critique, news reporting and scholarly web publication, which may or may not use actual names often in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians, celebrities and/or other personalities that are critiqued and/or commented upon, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

 

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Edited January 5, 2021 by Al-Malikah

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Username : PatrickSwayze1984

Comment : found rat hair on my lasagne 7/10