Sterlingg Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Interviewer: Good morning, Los Santos! Today, we're honored to welcome Barry Gunns, the Republican candidate for City of Los Santos District Comptroller. Mr. Gunns, thank you for joining us. Barry Gunns: Well, thank y'all for havin' me. It's a real pleasure to be here, talkin' 'bout the future of our beloved city. Interviewer: Let's dive right in. Your campaign slogan, 'Refund the Police,' has garnered quite a bit of attention. Can you tell us more about it? Gunns: Absolutely. Ya see, our police force is the backbone of this city. They're spread thinner than molasses in January. We gotta pour more resources into 'em, make sure they're equipped to keep our streets as safe as a church on Sunday. Interviewer: Interesting perspective. And what about your plans to cut social welfare programs? Gunns: Now, I ain't sayin' we should turn our backs on folks in need. But handouts are like sweet tea – too much and it loses its strength. We need to encourage folks to stand on their own two feet, build a life they can be proud of. Interviewer: You're known for your large family. Does this influence your political views? Gunns: Oh, more than you can imagine. When you've got a family as big as a summer barbecue, every decision you make, you think 'bout how it'll affect 'em. I want a Los Santos where my kids, and everyone's kids, can thrive. Interviewer: Your approach has been criticized by some as old-fashioned. How do you respond to that? Gunns: Old-fashioned? I call it timeless. Values like hard work, respect, and community – they never go outta style. Like a good pair of boots, they last. Interviewer: What's your grand vision for the city? Gunns: I picture a Los Santos where the streets are safe, the businesses are booming like a Fourth of July fireworks show, and folks are proud of their city. A place where opportunity is ripe for the pickin' for anyone willing to put in the work. Interviewer: Any final thoughts for our listeners? Gunns: Just this – if you're lookin' for someone who's gonna work as hard for this city as a farmer in harvest, then I'm your man. Together, we can make Los Santos the shining jewel of the South. Interviewer: Thank you for your time, Mr. Gunns. Gunns: Thank y'all. And remember, a vote for Gunns is a vote for a better Los Santos. Interviewer: Mr. Gunns, moving onto a different topic. There have been rumors about a warrant out for your arrest. Could you clarify these allegations? Barry Gunns (visibly surprised): A warrant? For my arrest? Now, hold on just a minute! That's as false as a three-dollar bill! I've lived my life by the good book and the law. Interviewer: The rumor suggests you have been suspected for a shooting. Gunns (becoming outraged): I did no such thang! This is some nonsense perpetuated by those who'd wish to do me harm. Interviewer: So, you categorically deny these allegations? Gunns: As categorically as a cat on a hot tin roof! This is pure hogwash, stirred up to tarnish my reputation. I've served this community like a dedicated shepherd. I wouldn't so much as swindle a fly. Interviewer: But how do you respond to the evidence presented? Gunns (fuming): Evidence? The only evidence here is of some snake in the grass tryin' to slither their way into discrediting me. I'll get to the bottom of this faster than a jackrabbit on a hot date. Interviewer: Do you think this will impact your campaign? Gunns: Impact my campaign? I'll turn this around like a pancake on a griddle. Let 'em throw their mud. I'll come out cleaner than a new penny. The people of Los Santos know who I am. They know my heart. Interviewer: Well, it's certainly a development that we'll continue to follow. Thank you for addressing these rumors, Mr. Gunns. Gunns: Thank y'all for givin' me the chance to set the record straight. The truth will shine brighter than the midday sun. 1 Link to comment
NexusExodus Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Username: Hank Preston Comment: The city doesn’t have a comptroller or any elections for one. 1 1 Link to comment
Sterlingg Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 Username: Billy Gunns Comment: Hank Preston you're a slimy two toothed goat fucker and I'm coming for you any more lies about my brother 1 Link to comment
Serbian Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Username: Gregory Gunns Comment: Hank Preston one more word out of your fat fucking mouth and I’ll personally blow your head off as soon as you walk out of the Capitol building, ya hurr? 1 Link to comment
Astralsomnia Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Username: DruidGodess2007 Comment: Why are you all so mean to Hank? Also I'm pretty sure that's threatened murder, of a government official... so, illegal as fuck. Link to comment
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