WildWild80s Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 (edited) 'B&B Podcast' S1, E1: Meet The Fam Never miss a post by clicking the image down below. Segment 1 - Intro CAPTIONS (CC) Spoiler * The camera would start recording as the intro song Lil Loaded - Opps On Fire fades in.* * Jeremy Ha rolls the camera over Hector Foo and Matias Quenonez, two strapping minorities in their twenties. Hector Foo: Ouuuuuweeeee. Nezzy, what the fuck is up, nigga? We really givin these niggas a podcast now? We really do be spoilin these niggas, naw? * Matias Quenonez grabs his mic, he leans in while laughing before responding to Hector. Matias Quenonez: What up— Ion know how the fuck to start this bitch but we got a whole podcast now. Who the fuck gave us a podcast, I feel like that's one thing we shoulda been banned from having. Matias Quenonez: But we here, and we live. Since this the first episode we don't got no special guests, who we got today, Hector? * Hector Foo bursts into a laughter, he rolls on some mean ass weed in the meantime. * Jeremy Ha zooms in on Hector's blunt. Hector Foo: Shiiii— This the pilot episode, you right - you right. We really jus about introduce our interns to yall fuck niggas... Some of em crackin bitches n shied so they couldn't make it, that don't mean they won't catch a mean ass /DP/ when we see em tho. Matias Quenonez: Thumper's ass is gon have to run fades with the whole team, his absence is unacceptable. I know he listening right now too, I know that nigga is shadowboxing in his room right now preparing. Hector Foo: We got— moafuckin D-Boy inna cut... Hopout the real deal... Kermit, our head of interns... A rare sight ta see... N we got Sonic da mascot... Homie blessin us with his presence here taday... * Jeremy Ha zooms out and opens the camera's view to the bachelors. He nods the camera to concur with the DPs. Matias Quenonez: Since we got mad people to introduce n allat, we gon run these niggas through some quick-fire questions. Discuss a couple topics, play some smash or pass, and then prolly end up arrested by the time this airs. * Hector Foo bursts into another laughter, shaking his head. Matias Quenonez: So without further to do, let's get roight into it... First nigga who gon step up is none other then the B-N-B Mascot himself, Sonic... * Matias Quenonez beckons Ja over from the back. * Lil Loaded - Opps On Fire fades back in as Ja Tao makes his way up to his chair, it plays until he gets himself settled down and then fades out.* Segment 2 - Sonic CAPTIONS (CC) Spoiler Ja Tao: AYE AYE HOW WE FUCKING DOING!!!!!! * Jeremy Ha zooms in on Ja Tao. He focuses on the man's wild, slicked back baby blue hair. Hector Foo: This the typa shit we gotta deal with. All these niggas so slow, this nigga deffo on the dirty sprite or some. I seen the way he sat down onna chair— Tskkk. Matias Quenonez: Take a seat nigga, god damn! Matias Quenonez: What's the story behind yo hair, Sonic? The people wanna know why you got that shit dyed and slicked back. Hector Foo: Zoom in-zoom in onna nigga hair! * Ja Tao turn's towards the duo as he gives them a answer to the question. Ja Tao: So peep dis. * Jeremy Ha squints at the display. He waves the camera over Tao's Sonic cut after hitting a 4x zoom on his hairline. Hector Foo: Ladies n gentlemen... He off the perc so he a lil slow but we let him cook... Ja Tao: You know when I was growing up I was the fastest kid on the block type shit you feel me. * Matias Quenonez nods his head as he listens to Ja. Ja Tao: You know I fucked with anime type shit I wanted to stand out become like a rockstar n all dat fun shit. * Hector Foo looks at Ja "Sonic" Tao as he finishes rolling up the blunt. He seals it and uses a BiC lighter to spark it up. Ja Tao: So what better way then change the style up on people and dye my hair blue like sonic you know as I started to explore more I felt like I had more meaning in life then most. Matias Quenonez: So how do you the bitches feel bout the blue hair? Matias Quenonez: So how do the bitches feel bout the blue hair? Ja Tao: Man they love this shit see you know a nigga like me got game. Matias Quenonez: A nigga like you must have immaculate game if you crackin bitches wid the blue slickback. Ja Tao: I check off all the box's super green flag nigga. * Hector Foo laughs uncontrollably as he looks at Ja, passing the blunt off to Matias. * Matias Quenonez takes the blunt from Hector, he puts it between his lips chiefing on it a few times. He exhales the smoke away from the duo. Ja Tao: Actual before I got here I was knocking the sonic coins up out the bitch sent that bitches head through the sheet rock now I got a glory hole in my room. * Ja Tao chuckles. * Matias Quenonez cracks up laughing loudly as he hears Ja. Matias Quenonez: THE SONIC COINS NIGGA— * Jeremy Ha cackles. The camera shakes. Matias Quenonez: I'M FUCKIN DEAD. Hector Foo: NOOOO WAYYY. Ja Tao: You know what I hate doe these bitches be talking all that game and there knees over heat in like two minutes from riding I need a bitch. Ja Tao: With Megan the stallion knee caps type shit. Matias Quenonez: Nah hold on doe, because these bitches out here singin allem Sexy Redd lyrics but when it comes to perform nigga? FLAT, STALE. Matias Quenonez: They out here huffing and puffing after thirty seconds, like what the fuuuuck? Hector Foo: Sonic out here spitting facts for y'all... Dead homies, he blessin with knowledge. * Ja Tao does gestures with his hands. Ja Tao: THE MORE YOU KNOW!!!!! Matias Quenonez: Aight man, that's y'all luh introduction to Sonic. We gon go ahead and substitute him out right here and bring in a fan favorite, one of the interns y'all always show love too on F-B. Hector Foo: Oard - oard. Sonic, we gone have ta cut you short here cuz D-Boy doin some hand signs behind the camera, he talm bout his hands started ta hurt n allat. Bitch move but it is what it is, we gotta move on to Kermit, I think, right Nezzy? Hector Foo: Anythang you tryna say? Any last words to your fans? Ja Tao: Thanks for having me gang you know we will chop it up more type shit. Ja Tao: Oh one last thing. * Jeremy Ha grimaces as he holds the camera. His bosses are cheapskates and refuse to buy a tripod. * Hector Foo looks at Ja Tao. Ja Tao: Never trust a bitch with high mileage anything over five. Hector Foo: Aight aight, valid... Sitcho ass down now. Matias Quenonez: Word das right, we got the Head of Interns, one of the funniest people I ever met in my life. Da one and only KERMIT! Segment 3 - Kermit [GLASIER & FULLYWEST CLOTHING COMMERCIAL BREAK] CAPTIONS (CC) Spoiler * Jason Rojo got stage fright. * Matias Quenonez beckons Jason over. Jeremy Ha: Fax... no printer. Thas public transportation homie... Matias Quenonez: Kermit?! Jason Rojo: Ey, what the fuck are yall lookin at me for? Yall the fucking hosts here. Keep this show goin, foo. Hector Foo: Aight aight— We got Kermit inna mothafuckin cut... Head of interns, hella stripes, type shi— Kermit, the world wanna know... Why you always got a shiesty on... I know that shit stanky as hewl nigga. * Jeremy Ha puts the camera on Jason. He zooms in on said sheisty before he turns the camera around to face himself. He flashes a stank face, mouthing, "what the fuck?" Jason Rojo: Ey, fool. I ain't tryna ride on this internet wave like all yall fools! I'm just doin this cause I am fuckin bored, I ain't tryna take the nine back home to Jamestown and have some whiteboy come up to me cause he recognize me... Jason Rojo: Thinkin shit is sweet, like I am some celebrity, like he can ask for a selfie or autograph or sum. I will let yall fools do that celebrity shit. Jason Rojo: I'm just tryna get paid at the end of the day. I am facin two cases right now, a nigga need cash... Hector Foo: A nigga need cash... Interesting... Hm... Well, it is a known fact we pay our interns well and provide all typa benefits, so... Ahem— Movin on... Jamestown, that's where you from. Tell me a bit about your upbringing. Hector Foo: These niggas don't know anything about you other then you mad funny. * Jeremy Ha turns it back around. The video feed focuses on the degenerate Rancho local that sits on the armchair. The angles of his feet and posture indicate that he is, in fact, a dangerous felon considered armed and dangerous. Jason Rojo: Miss me with the puerco ass questions. I plead the Fifth, eh? Thats no ones business but mines and my kids... Hector Foo: So what happened with Janeesha? * Hector Foo dog side-eyes Jason. * Matias Quenonez cackles into his hoodie. * Jeremy Ha zooms in heavily. * Jeremy Ha walks closer. Jason Rojo: Ey! Ladies. I see yall hair lookin a lil dusty and shit, yall nails be chipped, yall needa get that touched up... Davis beauty palace itself, She-Nailz. * Jason Rojo advertises his business. Matias Quenonez: Co-owners who be fuckin? * Jason Rojo rises. * Jeremy Ha side-eyes. Jason Rojo: Ey! Matias Quenonez: AYE AYE SIT BACK DOWN. * Jeremy Ha backs up. The camera gets all shaky. * Hector Foo looks at Jason and his Glock 17 with an extended magazine clip filled with hollow point APs with a blue tip. Jason Rojo: What I been sayin, mayn! Next fucking topic... Matias Quenonez: Alright so you single is what you sayin? Hector Foo: Aye - aye! Calm down niggeh! Sitcho ass down on that chair... * Matias Quenonez scoots slightly further away from Jason. * Jeremy Ha knows the editor will add an abrupt jump cut after Jason Rojo's outburst. Jason Rojo: Fashow, ey... Livin that bachelor life, just me and my niggas, a big bag of money... We be spendin and livin it up, the good life, namsayin!? Cocaine and caviar typa ordeal. * Hector Foo bops his head at Jason's remark. * Jeremy Ha zooms out. He knows Jason Rojo has never eaten caviar in his life and, in fact, is talking about his abuelita's ceviche. * Jason Rojo frowns and rises again. Jason Rojo: Matter fact, I gotta question for you Nezzy... One from the whole team thats been itchin at our necks since the start of our lil borgata here... Hector Foo: Oh SHIT!? Matias Quenonez: What is the question... * Matias Quenonez side-eyes Jason. Jason Rojo: You wanna ask him or should I, Hector? You his best friend after all... * Jeremy Ha goes for an over the shoulder view. The angle narrows on Quenonez, all cinematic and shit. Hector Foo: You ask him, gang... You started it... * Matias Quenonez focuses in on Jason, he's fully leaning forward holding his mic. * Jason Rojo clears his throat. Jason Rojo: Why the fuck you turned into such a soft ass dude ever since you started seein Ricey, mayn!? It's like this bitch got you turned completely inside out, holdin her pocket and shit... You just ain't callin her majesty yet, you fuckin lackey... Hector Foo: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! Jeremy Ha: AAAAAAAAAMN! * Jeremy Ha exclaims, from behind the camera. Matias Quenonez: Aye I got bad news for you gang, me and Rice done broke up bout two months ago... Man we hadda bring that up on the podcast?! You know this, nigga! Jason Rojo: Thats what I wanna fuckin know!? Nevermind this bullshit bout Janeesha, lets talk bout you! Matias Quenonez: Ah man... * Matias Quenonez gets a dose of Karma. Jason Rojo: Yall broke up and you still runnin afta her with yo paws in the air, like a dog... * Hector Foo tries to hide his laughter behind his hands. Matias Quenonez: Aye look, what happened between me and Rice and e'en none special. Obviously we had our differences n allat, but we hadda cut it off. Issa mutual decision, you feel me? Jason Rojo: One mornin, Nezzy. I came into the crib and there you were... Drunk as a motherfucka... Throwin your guts out ina toilet, your hair was in the fuckin water, nigga! Hector Foo: What?! * Hector Foo looks at Matias. * Jeremy Ha gets a good view of Foo's shock. * Hector Foo is in an extreme shock. Matias Quenonez: Aye that was a rough night! Look gang dat was right after we done got into a big ass argument, you feel me?! Look doe I'ma different nigga now, we back in business. We locked back in on da program and none else. * Matias Quenonez sniffs VIOLENTLY. Jason Rojo: Is that the case, that the case from now on? So we ain't gonna see you tryna get to with Rice no more? You gotta say she back ona streetz right now... * Hector Foo dog side-eyes Matias. * Jeremy Ha aims at Matias as he sniffles. He captures the ultimatum as it's posed. Hector Foo: You do gotta say it gang... * Hector Foo looks at the camera shaking his head right at it, like he's in a "The Office" scene, as Matias cooks up his answer. * Jason Rojo watches Matias lose his tongue. Matias Quenonez: Gang you know my ass is single, me and Rice done split up a minute ago. She be flyin back and forth to L-C now we, got none to do wid eachother no more other then takin care of some lil shit. * Matias Quenonez coughs. * Jason Rojo frowns. Jason Rojo: What you mean? Jeremy Ha: Lil shit?! Hector Foo: What lil shit? Matias Quenonez: Well obviously gang... You know we got into a lil situation, a couple things happened and it ended up with Rice having a big belly... You feel me? Inna few months we gon have another B-N-B intern on the payroll... Hector Foo: A BIG WHAAAAAAT? Jason Rojo: What the fuck... * Matias Quenonez announces his child on a episode of the B&B podcast. Matias Quenonez: AYE, AYE. Matias Quenonez: DON'T MAKE NO BIG DEAL OF IT, FOOL. IT'S LIFE. Matias Quenonez: WE MOVIN ONTO THE NEXT INTERN, HERE. * Jeremy Ha staggers. The camera shakes. * Matias Quenonez coughs, he grabs the mic before ushering Jason to the side. Hector Foo: Ladies and fuckniggas, did you JUS HEAR THIS? Nezzy ANNOUNCED HIS UP N COMIN CHILD to US!? Jason Rojo: Ey, what the fuck do you think you are doin? Matias Quenonez: We gotta move onto the next intern, fool! Jeremy Ha: LIVE REVELATIONS!! WHAT THE FUCK DOG?! Jason Rojo: You really gonna have a kid with a shawty who posts her ass online, fool!? Jesus fucking Christ. Congratulations, ey, hopefully it don't grow to be up as stupid as you is... * Hector Foo bursts into a laughter after Jason's remarks. He looks at Matias. * Matias Quenonez just nods his head, he knows Jason is right. * Jeremy Ha offers the camera back to Ja. He straightens his hoodie out. Jason Rojo: Movin on to Hector... Hector Foo: WHAT? Matias Quenonez: WAIT?! Hector Foo: NO NO NO? Hector Foo: Yea, I ain't gone lie gangy... It's time for, uhm... Uhm... D-Boy. Matias Quenonez: NAH NAH. Matias Quenonez: We got time. * Matias Quenonez jumps in to Jason's defense, he stares between the duo intensely. * Hector Foo gulps loudly, he looks at Jason with upmost fright. Jason Rojo: You know, I wanna like you... You ain't a bad guy, but you gotta crazy ass attitude... You always tryna hate on us and shit and put yo own interests before that of the collective, I ain't tryna sound like no communist but damn... * The boom mic droops and comes into frame. It taps against Rojo's shiesty.* Jason Rojo: How you gonna treat us like this when you ain't mackin on no bitches, last thang I remember was you tryna get to with that white bitch from Facebrowsa, the college hoe or whateva... Matias Quenonez: NAH! NAAAAAH! Hector Foo: AYE AYE AYE. Jason Rojo: And she kept keepin you ona fiddle with her boyfriend or somethin. Matias Quenonez: He said he mackin on NO BITCHES! NAH HE BROUGHT— NAH! Jason Rojo: I ain't ever seen you mack on no bitch since. Jeremy Ha: Whuuuut?! * Matias Quenonez is cracking up laughing loudly, he stomps his feet against the ground laughing loudly. * Jason Rojo serves them karma. * Hector Foo looks around panicking, he stares at Jason with a mean attitude. Hector Foo: AYE NIGGA! Shut yo lip, watch that tone, juhear?! Fuck is you talm bout? I'mma smack you nigga! * Ja Tao holds up this heavy ass camera. * Hector Foo stands up aggressively and squares up, the Liberty City is coming out of him. Matias Quenonez: Aye, relax, relax! I'ma need y'all to calm the fuck down! Jason Rojo: You ain't smackin shit, foo. I heard a lil somethin bout you... Sit yo ass down, eh? * Matias Quenonez pushes himself up, he gets inbetween the duo moving them apart. Matias Quenonez: RELAX, RELAX. Matias Quenonez: ORDER IN DA STUDIO. * Hector Foo gets separated by Matias, he growls like a hound after Jason's statements. Jason Rojo: Who you tryna act hoard for!? Sit down and answer the fuckin question! Jason Rojo: Ain't no bitches who you tryna show off to... Ha ha... * The boom mic teeters between Jason and Hector. It starts to nudge both of them back.* * Matias Quenonez is inbetween the duo as they mouth off to eachother, he looks over at Ja focusing on the camera. Matias Quenonez: Now for a word from our sponsor!! Jason Rojo: Eh? Jason Rojo: The fuck we goin to a commercial break for, it was bouta get juicy. * Matias Quenonez gets his commercial hijacked. Jason Rojo: Fuck the commercial! Hector Foo: Naw naw naw fuck a commercial, I'ma set the record straight. Matias Quenonez: Nevermind! Jason Rojo: I'm tryna hear this! * Matias Quenonez walks off the camera set, he whispers to Jeremy as the podcast starts to liven up. Hector Foo: Whatchu say lil bitch ass nigga? I was doin what? Kept me onna fiddle? Who said that? Real niggas know I was fuckin on three more bitches when I was talkin ta her— My ass was ona perc that day and ended up sendin somethin to her I shouldn't... * Ja Tao scratches his head while hold the camera. * Jason Rojo listens intently and nods at each word Hector utters. * Jeremy Ha fears for the future of his internship at Bars & Baddies. His resume is not impressive. Jason Rojo: What the fuck are you doin? Hector Fo: What story, nigga? Thass pretty much to it. All it lasted was like a week with her— A nigga forgotten bout that shit like few hours later— I ain't surprised it's bein discussed still to this date thou... Tryrna get clout off a nigga name? * Hector Foo laughs hysterically. * Jeremy Ha's arms and legs are tired. Hector Foo: Ain't ever fuck with no snowbunny either, we waaaay past that gang... Jason Rojo: The fucks a snowbunny. Ja Tao: Personally I wouldn't let him talk to me like that you know what I mean. Jason Rojo: White girl? * Hector Foo sighs. Jason Rojo: I don't fuck with white bitches either. Dap me up... * Hector Foo offers a dap to Jason. Jeremy Ha: Bars and Baddies LLC does NOT condone that message!! Jeremy Ha: THESE ARE PRIVATE OPINIONS. Jason Rojo: Ey, you was tryna square up on me though... I ain't even raise my hands or nothin to you, that shit is disrespectful, dawg. Jason Rojo: Matter fact. How much money you got in yo pockets right now? Band for band, foo... Hector Foo: WHAT? Matias Quenonez: Aight we gon have to move on to our commercial break here, unfortunately things got a lil out of pocket. * Jason Rojo rummages through his own pockets. * Jeremy Ha advocates for his own personal opinions. He is currently pursuing a white girl on Facebrowser with MINIMAL success. * Jason Rojo pulls out thick gangster wads. $21,511. Jason Rojo: Yall ain't payin me shit! Jason Rojo: When the fuck am I ognna get paid!? * Jason Rojo ruins the cut. Jason Rojo: Ey! * Hector Foo turns his JETS ON and skiddadles out the room like he just got called out as an up and coming mother in the Maury Show. Jason Rojo: I made all this my own fuckin self! Jason Rojo: Where you going, nigga!? Hector Foo: AIN'T NO BAND FOR BAND NIGGEH! * Jason Rojo tsks. Matias Quenonez: This episode is sponsored by all of our sponsors, shout out to FullyWest, shout out to Glasier, shout out to errybody else who sponsors us. Jason Rojo: I bet he is gonna take his whole trust fund outa the bank now... Matias Quenonez: This episode is sponsored by all of our sponsors, shout out to FullyWest, shout out to Glasier, shout out to errybody else who sponsors us. Jason Rojo: You know that foos dad a stockbroker, right!? That foo rich! Matias Quenonez: Kermit thank you... Segment 4 - DoughBoy CAPTIONS (CC) Spoiler Matias Quenonez: Now we have one of y'all most loved interns, he's just a probationary intern but y'all show him all the love inna world anyways. I'm of course talkin bout the good wid the bitches, the one and only DoughBoy! * Jeremy Ha walks over. He is a strapping nineteen year old blasian, very much single and ready to mingle (hynas only). He sits down and fixes his Washington Nationals fitted. * Ja Tao keeps the camera rolling. Matias Quenonez: Now we have one of y'all most loved interns, he's just a probationary intern but y'all show him all the love inna world anyways. I'm of course talkin bout the good wid the bitches, the one and only DoughBoy! Jeremy Ha: Whussup everybody? Happy to be on... big B&B ish... * Jeremy Ha is hitting the most vicious lightskin faces as the camera rolls. Hector Foo: Wasgood Dee-Fumbl— I mean D-Boy... Preciate you for bein here, preciate you for being the cameraman mostly n shit... Well, uhm... Tsk... Ugh... D-Boy, how yo moms doin? Jeremy Ha: Yeah man, my arms hurt n shit... my moms tho? She good- well taken care of, dog. You looking at the breadwinner right here. Hector Foo: Mhmmm, fasho fasho... Tell her I said wassup. * Jeremy Ha side-eyes Hector. Matias Quenonez: Now ion know this, in fact nobody knows this. So I'ma need you to answer this for everybody, you take Val out onna date yet? Hector Foo: Ouuuuuu... * Jeremy Ha wets his lips and rubs his palms together. He kisses his teeth. Matias Quenonez: HOLLON? Jeremy Ha: Weeeell, you know fool- she be playin man...! She be playin... that was supposed to go down, butchu know, I think she in her feelings lately? Matias Quenonez: DAFUMBLA STRIKES AGAIN! * Hector Foo bursts into an uncontrollable laughter. * Matias Quenonez starts spamming his alarm on his soundboard on the left, he mixes in some explosion noises and sirens. Hector Foo: PHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! * Jeremy Ha flashes his palms. He lifts his eyebrows at the camera and purses his lips as he gets zoomed in on. Matias Quenonez: So since this nigga fumbled another Bars and Baddies certified Bad Bitch, we gon fire up a quick-fire game of Smash or Pass. Since this nigga gets no play we gon call it unintentionally fumble or intentionally fumble. Hector Foo: Phaaaa-haa! Let's get skrait to it! Matias Quenonez: I'ma name off some names, and you gon give us a one word answer. Hector Foo: Who we got first on the list, Nezzy? Matias Quenonez: Fumble or Pass. Matias Quenonez: Got it? * Jeremy Ha nods along. He slouches forward. Jeremy Ha: Himme with it... Matias Quenonez: We gon start off light, somebody who's recent. Val, fumble or pass? Jeremy Ha: Fumble. Matias Quenonez: Icydoll, fumble or pass? Jeremy Ha: ...Pass. Matias Quenonez: WHOAAAAAAA! Hector Foo: DAAYUM? * Jeremy Ha grins at the camera. Matias Quenonez: Raen, fumble or pass? Jeremy Ha: Raen? Ain't she lesbian?! Matias Quenonez: ONE WORD ANSWERS. Matias Quenonez: Raen, fumble or pass? Jeremy Ha: Pass. I ripped up that shirt homie... Hector Foo: Uh huh uh huh. Jeremy Ha: You know the one... Matias Quenonez: On HOOD he did, pha-hahah we gon get to that afterwards. Hector Foo: Alright— Next up onna list we got Blair. How we feelin about this one, homey? * Jeremy Ha crinkles his nose. He wriggles his phone out and pauses, browsing through it. Matias Quenonez: He's deep diving?! Hector Foo: Oh he pulled out the receipts! Jeremy Ha: Hhm... hmm. * Jeremy Ha shares a look with Matias and Hector. Jeremy Ha: PASS. * Hector Foo smirks. Alexis Yepes: Me personally... Matias Quenonez: DAAAAMN. Matias Quenonez: Chloe, fumble or pass?! Hector Foo: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. Hector Foo: I know the Blair one finna be the news on FB tomorrow... * Jeremy Ha puckers his lips. He strokes the fuzz on his lip. Jeremy Ha: ...I'ma fumble that. Matias Quenonez: Word?! * Jeremy Ha nods, sagely, with all his nineteen years of street nigga knowledge. Matias Quenonez: Last but not least, who we got, Hector? Hector Foo: OK - OK. Let me ask you this one... * Hector Foo looks at Jeremy with a dramatic face. Hector Foo: No Kizzy Lizzy... * Jeremy Ha eyes Hector. He kisses his fist. * Alexis Yepes eases up with the boom mic. Alexis Yepes: This cool? Ion know if that shit really pickin up bro. Jeremy Ha: -You know whut? Thas the homegirl? But PASS, homie... Matias Quenonez: Das cool... Matias Quenonez: PASS?! Hector Foo: P-P-P-P-P-PASS?! Matias Quenonez: DAAAYUM. * Hector Foo starts spamming up his own soundboard with sirens and explosions and gunshots. * Alexis Yepes accidentally covers Quenonez's body from the cameras view. Matias Quenonez: NAH WAIT. THE TIMING. Hector Foo: SHE CALLIN? Matias Quenonez: BLOOD SHES CALLING ME. Jeremy Ha: LOUDSPEAKER! Hector Foo: AIN'T NO WAYY! Hector Foo: LOUDSPEAKER! * Matias Quenonez picks his phone, he turns it on speaker putting it into the mic. * Alexis Yepes eases the mic closer. Elizabeth Jackson (loudspeaker): Ay papi you got some dusters I can borrow? Matias Quenonez (cellphone): Lizzy before you say anythin you on the B-N-B podcast right now, wassup— Hector Foo: AYE PAPI?! Elizabeth Jackson (loudspeaker): Oh— Matias Quenonez (cellphone): NIGGA WHOAAAAAAAA. Elizabeth Jackson (loudspeaker): Oop. Matias Quenonez (cellphone): WHOA WHOA WHOA. Elizabeth Jackson (loudspeaker): Okay bye. Matias Quenonez: SHE HUNG UP. Jeremy Ha: HA HA HA!! * Matias Quenonez is cracking up laughing. Hector Foo: We got that?! WE GOT THAT?! Alexis Yepes: Thass fire... thass fire. I got that shit. * Ja Tao zooms in on Matias. Alexis Yepes: YOU GET THAT SHIT BLOOD?! LEMME KNOW SONIC. * Jeremy Ha cackles, he falls out in his seat. * Matias Quenonez slides his back into his pocket, he can't stop laughing after Elizabeth's phone call. He slides out of his seat, rolling on the floor with Jeremy. Matias Quenonez: I CAN'T BREATHE, BLOOD! * Hector Foo laughs hysterically, he goes back and forth in the red chair. * Alexis Yepes remains holding the microphone with a smile. > Jeremy Ha is dying of laughter. > Alexis Yepes' happy to be here. * Hector Foo wipes the tears off his face and sits properly. Hector Foo: Aaww blawd— Hector Foo: This boutta be the best podcast ever... Hector Foo: Oh my... * Matias Quenonez pushes himself back up, he palms his face down before taking a seat. Hector Foo: Oh my dear lawd... Matias Quenonez: Aight on that note— Thank you D-Boy for introducing yourself to the masses. Up next we moving on to our personal security guard and one of the funniest niggas we know, THUMPA. Segment 5 - Thumper [SMALL COMMERCIAL BREAK] CAPTIONS (CC) Spoiler * Matias Quenonez signals Alexis towards the other chair. * Hector Foo spams some sirens and explosions on his soundboard to fill up the laughter noises. He stil wipes tears off his face. * Jeremy Ha clears the way for Alexis Yepes. * Alexis Yepes bangs a L towards the camera as he makes way towards the chair. Matias Quenonez: Thumpeezy, a man of few words. He does his talkin wid his fists, and if you ever got thrown out a club we was in it was probably by this nigga right here. Hector Foo: Thumpah, fore we actually begin the fans would wanna know— What the fuck happen to the donut machine and how did it end up thru a fuckin window, my neezy? Alexis Yepes: Das right, das right. N if yo big homie ever got socked out, blood? Thass me. One of the main crab bashers innis bitch— you know what the deal is. Jeremy Ha: LADIES! He single!! His old sweetheart moved back to Messico!! * Hector Foo chuckles. Alexis Yepes: Loo— * Alexis Yepes stares up at Ha with a death stare. * Jeremy Ha puts the mic even closer. He goads for a reaction for content. Alexis Yepes: Right— the donut machine bro. So look... I'm trina get a lil— Dough... GET THE MIC OUT MY FUCKIN FACE! * Hector Foo cackles. Jeremy Ha: OK, OK, touchy subject! * Jeremy Ha lifts it. * Matias Quenonez knows Jeremy is fishing for an infamous "Thumper Meltdown". He cheeses the entire time. Alexis Yepes: The machine though bro? Iss like— that shit wasn't giving bro. Shit was staler than half the bitches on eff-bee, blood. No personalities in that bitch. You think I'm trina eat pink ass donuts all day? Hector Foo: Naw naw naw you rite - you rite. We don't do allat round here. * Alexis Yepes squints at Matias. Alexis Yepes: Whachu trina say? Westadeal, blood. We can pause this shit right n— you know what... * Jeremy Ha makes a zooming gesture at Ja Tao, nodding at Alexis. Matias Quenonez: Calm down, calm down... For all of those who don't know the homie Thumpeezy right here is single. All the bitches who needin a real ass nigga, y'all needa go his way. Matias Quenonez: He's out here strugglin, he don't get no typa play. Alexis Yepes: Down ass hyna, foo. Alla firme bitches hit my line, blood. If you don't got any domestic violence charges don't even think about hittin my line onna set though. Longo West. * Alexis Yepes grins as he bangs a L towards the camera once again. Matias Quenonez: How you feel bout Snowbunnies, Thumper? Alexis Yepes: Naw. All I gotta say. Hell naw... Jeremy Ha: More fa me... Matias Quenonez: On hood?! Alexis Yepes(to Matias Quenonez): I'm already a lil pale bro... fuck I need a bitch that look like me for? I'm trina get me a lil thick— ya mean?! * Matias Quenonez cracks up. Hector Foo: Phaaaaaaah! * Hector Foo reaches over to dap Alexis up. * Alexis Yepes lets off a few cackles; he shakes it up with Foo. * Hector Foo daps him again actually. Matias Quenonez(to Alexis Yepes): So you famously used ta be every bitches favorite Fortnite duo partner, you end up linkin wid any of them? Jeremy Ha: This nigga rather make ten snow bunnies die than make one sista cry, ha ha ha! * Hector Foo slaps palms with Alexis for the third and fourth time. * Hector Foo shakes it up with Alexis for five more times before he retract his hand back. Alexis Yepes(to Matias Quenonez): Did I link any of them? Naw... aye though. Shoutout La Toxica, blood. Ian gone lie her ass cold wit the sticks, foo. She was droppin dimes out there— Rice? Hmph... I'm not givin her credit for shit. Matias Quenonez: Man I found out some bad news in Costco this morning, I was scrollin through my phone and I done seen La Toxica shoutin out her new nigga under my post. Matias Quenonez: Felt like I got shot in the chest, blood. > Jeremy Ha shakes his head in utter disgust. * Hector Foo shakes his head at the camera. Alexis Yepes: Awww... I forgot you was trina fuck wit her bro. Das sad... you feelin sad? How you feelin? You needa get back. * Alexis Yepes stares at the camera. Alexis Yepes: We gotta cut that out or? Matias Quenonez: Blood it wasn't e'en like that, right? So I slid in her D-M's on some goof shit, was catchin up, den all of a sudden, right?! I was another one of her VICTIMS, blood. * Alexis Yepes swivels as he kicks his legs up on the arms. Matias Quenonez: That's the way of the game, I ain't even know she had a nigga! Jeremy Ha: You saying La Toxica be victimizing fools?! Alexis Yepes: Right, right. Sounds like you a lil hurt nigga. Das just me though— next question, foo. Matias Quenonez: Aye next question... Hector Foo: Thumper what happen to the girl that went ta Mexico? Hector Foo: Folks wanna know about that. * Hector Foo side-eyes Alexis. * Jeremy Ha does too. He is folks. * Matias Quenonez does three. Alexis Yepes(to Hector Foo): Next question, foo. I'm not finna speak on the /homegirl/. She got pregnant n moved to mexico, blood. Das all it is. I'm not trippin over that shit. * Alexis Yepes is definitely tripping off that shit. Matias Quenonez: Aight aight we gon move past to the next question, Thumper sounds a lil bitter. We gon brush past it, respectin boundaries n allat. Alexis Yepes: Mmmcht— fuck you. Hector Foo: Word word— We not gone— Hector Foo: Naw naw. * Jeremy Ha lowers the mic. Hector Foo: Matterfact. * Alexis Yepes stares up at Jeremy. Hector Foo: Tell us about how you got yo bitch pregnant witcho seed and how she left yo ass to go fuck a nigga off the Cartel nigga, the niggas wanna know. Alexis Yepes: Bro. Dough— GET THE FUCKIN MICROPHO— WHAT?! * Jeremy Ha accidentally taps Yepes' head with the mic as he yells. Matias Quenonez: AYE— AYE. * Matias Quenonez sees the disaster unfolding, he jumps up to run infront of Jeremy. Alexis Yepes: Blood— onna set y— NIGGA?! WHAT TH— DB... you want that or what?! Jeremy Ha: AY CHILL OUT CHILL OUT CHILL OUT!! Matias Quenonez: AYE BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP. Hector Foo: AYE AYE AYE! ORDER ORDER ORDER! * Alexis Yepes hops out of his seat. He yanks up his jeans as his pale skin turns red. Matias Quenonez: COME ON, ORDER IN DA STUDIO. * Jeremy Ha backs up with the microphone. He is an unfortunate victim of Alexis' temper as he tries to do his job. Alexis Yepes(to Jeremy Ha): Stadeal nigga?! You trina hit niggas wit the microphone on sum /funny/ shit! Westadeal nigga?! Jeremy Ha: My arms tired man! My fault!! Hector Foo: CHILL CHILL! Matias Quenonez: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Hector Foo: LIKE YO KID. Jeremy Ha: IT WUS AN ACCIDENT! * Hector Foo coughs. * Alexis Yepes stares past Matias. Alexis Yepes: Niggas think yall funny! You know what?! Fuck that shit— cut this shit off nigga! Jeremy Ha: I apologize mayn... shit... Hector Foo: Yow yow yow! * Jeremy Ha taps his head with the boom mic again. Matias Quenonez: OH SHIT— * Hector Foo laughs. * Alexis Yepes bends down towards the small coffee table and flips it as he's hit again. Matias Quenonez: AYE! Hector Foo: AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?! * Ja Tao gets to laughing. Jeremy Ha: OWH SHIT! Matias Quenonez: AYE SOMEBODY STOP HIM, BLOOD! * Jeremy Ha gasps as the marble SHATTERS. * Matias Quenonez begins to panic as Alexis goes into his famous "Thumper Meltdown" he watches in shock and horror as he starts smashing the podcast room. Ja Tao: Ayo what da fuck is going on. Alexis Yepes: Niggas think they funny?! I'ma need allat! All you niggas gotta come outside, blood! Longo fuckin West! Hector Foo: He off a perc! He off a perc! Somebody STOP him! Matias Quenonez: Aye! Jeremy Ha: AYE THAT WAS SIX HUNNIT DOLLARS BLOOD! SHIT! Hector Foo: THIS DEFINITELY COMIN OUT ALL YOU NIGGAS PAYCHECKS! * Alexis Yepes flaps the ends of his shirt. His ILLEGAL firearm is shown towards the camera. He storms out of the room and knocks down the light on the way. * Hector Foo witnesses the Thumper Meltdown occuring in front of him once again. Matias Quenonez: We appreciate all y'all for tuning into the pilot episode of the Bars & Baddies podcast— New episodes every Sunday, we gonna see y'all in the next one! Alexis Yepes: OUTSIDE! I NEED THAT! > Jeremy Ha knows he about to get his ass beat. * Matias Quenonez flinches as Alexis storms past him, he looks scared as he announces the end of the podcast to Ja. Hector Foo: Thank you guys for tuning in, we preciate you for watchin n shit, more reviews comin out soon, vlog comin out soon, uhm... New podcast next Sunday with a featured baddie, tap in... * Jeremy Ha gets in the camera. He flashes a thumbs up. Jeremy Ha: Every Sunday! Alexis Yepes: Fuck allat! Dough! I need yo fade first onna dead homies! Blood BRING yo ass outside! Jeremy Ha: Ay man, we can't talk this out or sum?! * Alexis Yepes storms his way over towards Ha. * Matias Quenonez closes off the episode as Alexis screams down the cast from the background. Matias Quenonez: AYE AYE AYE! * Jeremy Ha attempts to reason with Alexis Yepes. He gets yanked off of the camera like it's a cartoon. Jeremy Ha: AGHHH- Hector Foo: Welp, guysh... * Alexis Yepes takes Ha by the collar of his hoodie and drags him away. Alexis Yepes: LETS. GO! Hector Foo: Oh NAW! Matias Quenonez: Well there goes D-Boy— AYE CUT THE CAMERA. Leave a comment down below: Username: Comment: Edited January 31 by WildWild80s 57 1 3 Link to comment
KussArsch Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Username: Blairrrr Comment:im entertained, shit always funny af 2 1 Link to comment
West Brakkin Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Username: guddagangkapone Comment: yall niggas ass 5 1 Link to comment
Onumbra Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Username: Anonymous Comment: weird flex but ok 2 1 Link to comment
stefq Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 username: deadboy comment: my nigga thumpa mayn u sock cuh out or wat 4 Link to comment
stefq Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 17 minutes ago, Onumbra said: Username: Anonymous Comment: weird flex but ok username: deadboy comment: nigga shut ur bitch ass up fore niggas sock u out dhz 2 1 Link to comment
BkruceLee Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 Username: GoGettaNboy Comment: This shit is hard, got something to watch at night now 🔥 3 Link to comment
Onumbra Posted December 17, 2023 Share Posted December 17, 2023 23 minutes ago, stefq said: username: deadboy comment: nigga shut ur bitch ass up fore niggas sock u out dhz Username: Anonymous Comment: wasn't even insulting uncle shlomo u more delicate then 8 year old girls 2 Link to comment
Log Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 @WildWild80sYou can't go into a building without setting the smoke detectors off. Content is too fire I swear. 1 1 Link to comment
BunnaMan Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 (edited) Username: miggy Comment: Dis shit fyeeee Edited December 18, 2023 by BunnaMan 1 1 Link to comment
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