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[Blog] The confessions of an addict in Los Santos.


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Los Santos is known throughout the world as the City of Angels, with Vinewood superstars taking centre stage in the World's gaze. The Divided States of America loves to promote this facade to the world, but those of us who live in the so called City of Angels know just how tough living in this city can be. I myself have become yet another victim of this city's malignant miasma. I have seen the corruption within, the vile natures bought about by this city. As shameful as it may be to admit it, i'm an addict having been an abuser of Opioids since I was 17 and have been unable... and unwilling to shake this filthy habit. I know it will kill me eventually but I do not wish to stop.

In recent years I have manipulated, lied and cheated to stay alive, to get my next fix... I have used people freely, carelessly even. I held up a relationship for months on end... purely to make sure I could get my next fix, and when he ran out? I left him.. I stopped responding to his texts, avoided even going near him if I could help it. Even after all of that... the few friends I hold on to are just another means to finding my next fix... that is why ultimately I believe that this city is cruel and twisted. I have lived on the streets since I was 17, having been kicked out of home after I dropped out of high school and being completely unable to hold down a job I eventually was pushed into taking opiate painkillers as a coping mechanism, my pain dulled. 

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It was only in recent times... that I realized just how twisted this city was-... with a dealer dead, leaving me with absolutely no plug to find my latest fix.. I struggled- begging people to sell me heroin, oxycodone, morphine... anything that scratch my itch... but no one would sell me the substance, they all expected me to put out, work for them... this is the tumor that explains why so many addicts are used as kamikaze pilots for criminals throughout Los Santos. In Downtown I was asked to honeypot potential targets for a handler to rob, in exchange for a gram or two thrown my way... in Hawick I was expected to scout for robberies, vehicle break-ins and even gather potential phone numbers of other criminals for a would-be lure. In South Central? Prostitution, Vespucci? I avoid Vespucci. 

Even when  had money from begging it was never good enough for criminal elements... they'd ask 200 for a gram, I had 400... they wouldn't even sell me a single gram... I always got the same exact dialogue- you work for us. Despite the very little cash I did have on me... it was sadly never enough- hence why I entered a loveless relationship with a dealer purely to get my fix. Why did I do this to someone you may ask? Because.. the pull of opioids is stronger than any potential hesitancy I may have had prior to life on the street... the only thing that really matters to me is now getting dope sick. 

Unfortunately while these criminal elements go wild on the streets and spread these products the police aren't much better. They don't really care about going after dealers, they would rather search harmless drug users purely because they are half asleep in public. The amount of times I have been searched and held over the hood of a cruiser for this reason made me realize just how little the so called peacekeepers of this city really care. Los Santos isn't the city of Angels, it's the city of Fallen Angels... where good people fall and become twisted into something that you would no longer recognize.

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While many party in lavish clubs all night every night, there are those of us who struggle with addiction, poverty, blackmail, and extortion.
We are real people, we exist and we struggle.
I am Claire and I am a Fallen Angel.

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Edited by Zetara
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