Jump to content

[LSRN] Happy New Year Everyone Except Seo-Hee Min


LSRN

Recommended Posts

  

vbGOg4Z.png

Los Santos Reliable Network - The information you need, when you don't need anything.

Y8l4IDT.png

Happy New Year Everyone Except Seo-Hee Min!

 

BY RICHARD SEAMAN

 

 

Los Santos, SA - On 31st December 2021, it's the last day of the year! An eventful one at that, and we wanted to wish all of our readers, and all the citizens of Los Santos, a happy new year! But except Seo-Hee Min, because fuck man, no way. 

 

1liln4A.png

Not happy new year to you.

 

 

The end of year is going to be a wonderful moment, we hope: a celebration in Del Perro, friends and families finding each other and exchanging germs, and of course our favorite, enjoying a cheap bottle of whiskey while hoping it will be over soon, the soft embrace of death freeing us from this daily struggle. Well, we hope it will be wonderful, except of course for Seo-Hee Min! She has indeed been the topic of much controversy - the private business owner from South Korea being put under a less-than-delightful light.

 

As many have proven elegantly, the woman is indeed a communist. Our in-house historians have deeply studied Karl Marx's Capital and found out that in fact, yes, the end project of any communist state is to make profit and strengthen private property. How dare she? Not allowing her private property to be used along with firearms is definitely not something we stand for, in America. TRUE Americans let everyone use their private property, they share it with everyone, and they don't partake in profit-seeking! 

 

And how dare she only submit female names, per maritime tradition, for her boat? Snubbing Desmond Brown is just intolerable - regardless of the plans to have a boat named after him specifically! Our colleagues at the LS Post hit the nail on the head: this limitation to female names is unamerican. Plus, snubbing a black man? We can only salute the LS Post's Black Lives Matter stance here, by defending Brown's legacy. They strongly express that a true American should be a woke, pro-gender equality person, and we can only agree! No to Min's conservatism! 

 

To add insult to injury? She decided to make her own choice, by using her own money to reject another company's services. This shocking behavior is very clearly anti-american, and once more: personal business choices are communism, nothing more. It is quite obvious she's coming from a foreign country, the poor woman not understanding that a true, proper American will always accept the choice that is imposed on him! As the LS Post eloquently laid out, government regulation and limitation of business choice are definitely the most American things we can hope for. 

 

She stands for profit-seeking, for private property, for free business choices, ... Is this someone to whom we wish a happy new year? I think not! 

Thankfully, our journalist brethren and opinion influencers have come to remind everyone of what they stand for. Non-profit enterprises, public property, more regulation, and more gender equality. THIS here is true American capitalism! For that we salute them, wish them a happy new year, and hope they will keep spreading this definitely-not-communist message further.

 

Happy new year, San Andreas! Except Seo-Hee Min. 

 

Y8l4IDT.png

G6_Ad.png.6043bc40f180b32413a101107bcfccd6.png

 

The Los Santos Reliable Network (LSRN) is a dubious network of suspicious people, providing you with the most less reliable information around. Our articles should be taken as seriously as an online comment. 

 

Comment on FaceBrowser: 

https://face.gta.world/posts/203043

 

Comment on our website: 

> Comments are enabled

 

Username: 

Comment:

Edited by LSRN
  • Upvote 6
Link to comment
1 minute ago, ThatDutchPerson said:

 

Username: KarlMarxOfficial

Comment: A woman to my heart, I fucking love her and want her to marry me this instant. That is my right as a true communist!!

 

Username: diamonddog19

Comment: ratio

  • Upvote 4
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment

Username: LSRN Redaction

Comment: Hello, and happy new year! In the interest of job preservation for our journalists, and of maintaining a strong economy, we would kindly ask our readers to stop posting such comments. Indeed, those make our job even more redundant than it already is. If you keep being even more of a parody than we could imagine, what are we going to do? Are you trying to close American businesses? Of course not: that would be unpatriotic. Thank you for your kind consideration, for protecting honest capitalist jobs, and a happy new year to everyone (almost)!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...