[LSRN] 2022 State Budget Leaked [LSRN EXCLUSIVE]

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2022 State Budget Leaked [LSRN EXCLUSIVE]

 

BY MICHAEL HUNT

 

 

Los Santos, SA - On 15th December 2021, one of our many informants within the San Andreas State Senate sent us a document - one that should not have been revealed to the public yet, but one that we believe is important for the well-being and information of the citizens of the State. Therefore, in the wake of the publication of the October & November Spending Reports, we're proud to show you the 2022 State Budget.

 

Budget committee members, congratulating themselves for a hard day's work

 

 

After a strange year in 2021, 2022 is up to a good start - among other things, we now have in our possession the details 2022 State budget that is full of surprises. First of all, the departments of Labor and Education will be altogether removed. According to our inside source, « Their budget rarely exceeded $12 overall, and most of the time it was paid in chicken nuggets or coupons to play at Pete's Arcade. It cost more to do their accounting than to fund them, so the committee felt it better to get rid of those. ».

 

From now on, the way children from less favored areas are educated will be done in a manner best described as "I mean like, I don't know man, figure it out". As for the department of Labor, it will not be much of a change for them, as the position was held by what appears to be a 4-feet tall plushie of a Stegosaurus, sitting before a desk. The plushie will be put out for auction in early January.

 

Other departments however were more lucky in the way their budgets were managed. We can indeed see the Ports of San Andreas being (once again) moved up in the budgets, and the Senate is considering giving the Port Authority (SAPR) their own seat at the Senate. According to our inside source, « I mean, giving trade groups a seat at the Senate worked just fine in the Star Wars prelogy, so why not in San Andreas, y'know? ». The Courts and DA's Offices are also similarly blessed: 

 

The 2022 San Andreas budget in one pie chart

 

The mission statement of this 2022 budget, in the documents we obtained, is to « Focus the State's budget into its core missions: put people in jail, and like, y'know, port stuff. ». This is achieved by drastically scaling down departments that bring less value and re-allocating the funds more strategically.

It appears there have been debates, as to whether an Office of MMA should have been added, but the decision was to push the discussion back to mid-2022. Several candidates for the position of Commissioner of MMA have been considered, such as Garbon Meqvabishvili, Naoko Mitsukuri, or someone from the Port Authority (SAPR). 

 

This is but the first phase of a more general change and optimization of the State Budget. The long-term plans for 2023 and 2024 are to remove the last departments altogether, dividing the entire state budget between the Courts, the DA's office, and the Port.  This would then lead to a longer-term plan to focus the state's entire economy around the port, and the courts. And a longer-longer-term plan, to divide the lands of San Andreas between a giant courtroom and a giant port, although those remain even longer-longer-longer term objectives. 

 

Should we obtain more details and clarifications from those documents, we will of course make sure to let you know.

 

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Edited December 15, 2021 by LSRN

[joshua]

Username: FreeEagle

Comment: WHAT?? Are you fucking serious??? INCREASED Budget for Port Authority (SAPR)??? WHO MAKES THESE decisions?? Who voted for these people!!! I’m fucking sick of this - Does anyone want to overthrow the Government with me…? In fact, why don’t we go Massacre all of SAPR? (Port Authority.). THEN WE CAN attack SAPA! (San Andreas Park rAngers) for THEIR portion of the budget!

[WeRememberYouGarold]

22 hours ago, joshua said:

Username: FreeEagle

Comment: WHAT?? Are you fucking serious??? INCREASED Budget for Port Authority (SAPR)??? WHO MAKES THESE decisions?? Who voted for these people!!! I’m fucking sick of this - Does anyone want to overthrow the Government with me…? In fact, why don’t we go Massacre all of SAPR? (Port Authority.). THEN WE CAN attack SAPA! (San Andreas Park rAngers) for THEIR portion of the budget!

Username: Armolitskiy

Comment: we have reached such a point of irony and sarcasm that i can't even understand if this guy is joking or not