[LSVIXEN] 2020 Mayoral Election Flash Coverage!

[Al-Malikah]

Mayoral Erection 2020

This entire thing is really bad for my skin so it's gonna be a short one.

 

Seriously, I keep breaking out from the stress of it so I just gave up and asked the candidates to send me short statements outlining their vision for the future of Los Santos. I reproduce it all fully unedited and without any of my usual brand of opinionated satire. This is so you have a real chance to evaluate the candidates based on their merits and their individual plan for the future. Super serious.

 

© 2020 Los Santos Vixen. All fights deserved.

 

 

 

Independent Candidate Malikah Saleh

 

With the eye of a newt,

the heart of a cow,

the tongue of a shrew,

the breast of a sow...

 

I shall invoke the spirits,

to take from the wealthy,

and force-feed the hungry.

 

By the winds of the land,

I shall strike with my hand,

each and every shitty band...

 

A plague of locusts upon those,

who in their hearts have chose,

to slight and blight the earth!

 

Inshallah,

I see... I see the Los Santos Caliphate RISING!

 

*Unintelligible cackling*

 

 

 

Republican Candidate Oswald Halford

 

 

There you have it folks, two uniquely terrifying visions for the future all in your hands. Check out their similarly terrifying websites below:

 

Independent Roving Gypsy Malikah Saleh

Republican Not-the-Zodiac-Killer Oswald Halford

 

 

 Disclaimer

Spoiler

LS Vixen (bitch ass) Disclaimer

The LS Vixen is a satire, parody, commentary, critique, news reporting and scholarly web publication, which may or may not use actual names often in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians, celebrities and/or other personalities that are critiqued and/or commented upon, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

 

-> Comments are enabled 

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Edited October 20, 2020 by Al-Malikah

[skink]

Username: lucidandspectator128

Comment: Wrong Wrong and Wrong here is another issue you are looking the problem from a wrong perseptive the Fucker "OSwald" is not some sereal killer from years ago there is here going on a much more ancient and far reaching consern here he is reaching across MULTIPLE Dimensions and answering to Greater masters then you could possibly imagine the fact is that with you trying to be funny it takes Awway from other more serious discussion about What 'He' is and i would lay it out that he greater IT of '''Halford''' is consealing something much worse as he said so much to myself and contines to do so to this day using Multiple police resourses against me and Stealing me away in the night

[Sim]

1 hour ago, skink said:

Username: lucidandspectator128

Comment: Wrong Wrong and Wrong here is another issue you are looking the problem from a wrong perseptive the Fucker "OSwald" is not some sereal killer from years ago there is here going on a much more ancient and far reaching consern here he is reaching across MULTIPLE Dimensions and answering to Greater masters then you could possibly imagine the fact is that with you trying to be funny it takes Awway from other more serious discussion about What 'He' is and i would lay it out that he greater IT of '''Halford''' is consealing something much worse as he said so much to myself and contines to do so to this day using Multiple police resourses against me and Stealing me away in the night

Username: Red

Commend: REPENT SINNER.

[Al-Malikah]

11 hours ago, skink said:

Username: lucidandspectator128

Comment: Wrong Wrong and Wrong here is another issue you are looking the problem from a wrong perseptive the Fucker "OSwald" is not some sereal killer from years ago there is here going on a much more ancient and far reaching consern here he is reaching across MULTIPLE Dimensions and answering to Greater masters then you could possibly imagine the fact is that with you trying to be funny it takes Awway from other more serious discussion about What 'He' is and i would lay it out that he greater IT of '''Halford''' is consealing something much worse as he said so much to myself and contines to do so to this day using Multiple police resourses against me and Stealing me away in the night

Username: LSVIXEN

Comment: Iunno what's going on here girl but i am praying 4 u

 

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