Jump to content

[LSVIXEN] Post-Erection: The 'Winners'- Where are they now?


Al-Malikah

Recommended Posts

image.png.016e87353d784fd09baaf7de6d04a00f.png

The 'Winners'

Where are they now?

 

 

The sun sets on this election cycle. Both Charles Galloway and Oswald Halford sweep the remaining crumbs of cocaine from their respective large mahogany desks and prepare their battle-mechs for the Mayoral race next month, realizing almost instantly that they can now comfortably not answer any of losing candidates calls ever again unless they are particularly wealthy.  A new day dawns on Los Santos, a new day where half the council is Red, the other half is Blue, and one hundred percent of the citizens are just curious what they will actually do for them. 


The Los Santos Vixen was curious about that question as well. We tracked down the winners and interrogated them on their plans after the big win! 

 

© 2020 Los Santos Vixen. All fights deserved.

 

image.png.203351988548864f19ddef5cba280220.png

Candidate:  Jonathan Spencer (R) District Representative for the Northern District

Where we found him:  Lurking masked under the bleachers at ULSA.

 

What are your plans?

"Oh-ho Jonny-boy is just enjoying a little 'me-time' right now. Pass that bottle of lotion for me and give me a little privacy."

 

 

image.png.f5d2cf85b84458fc084e309670d2c16b.png

Candidate:  Tanya Sun (D) District Representative for the Western District

Where we found her: In the bathroom mirror of the iSeoul Cafe after saying her name thrice.

 

What are your plans?

"Prossssssssssssssssssperiiiittty" 
Ms. Sun then vanished into thin air after the lightbulb flickered.

 

 

image.png.22312de46250c6cf734b660a453f1069.png

Candidate:  Alex Flynn (R)  District Representative for the Central District

Where we found him: Desperately trying to be recognized at a coffee shop

 

What are your plans?

"Wait? You recognize me? Thank god, people keep saying I only won because of my whole opponent beating his girlf-"

We got incredibly bored and decided to move onto the next winner. Apologies.

 

image.png.9c92ea50ac279486e8d6217c02652552.png

Candidate: George Valencia (D) District Representative for the Eastern District

Where we found him: Actively choking out a prostitute in the Havana Sauna with a permanent smile.

 

What are your plans?

"Fuck bitches, get money."

 

 

image.png.94853a8ca4d8c4c987d09ec965957454.png

Candidate: Wallace Abbasi (D) District Representative for the Southern District, Ayatollah of Los Santos.

Where we found him: Shedding his 'human' skin after his mid-morning prayer.

.

What are your plans?

"<:// SHARIALAW.exe initialize. 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01111001 00100111 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111 >"

image.png.c5d8e8ffc51a3395142d5fc943e8628b.png

Candidate: Joseph Hoffman (R) District Representative for Blaine County

Where we found him: Fully inebriated outside of a Waffle Hut at 6:20 AM

 

What are your plans?

"Wai-wai-wai-wait yersay'n -hic- I'm the fuckin' mayor?"

 

Disclaimer: 

Spoiler

LS Vixen (bitch ass) Disclaimer

The LS Vixen is a satire, parody, commentary, critique, news reporting and scholarly web publication, which may or may not use actual names often in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians, celebrities and/or other personalities that are critiqued and/or commented upon, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

-> Comments are enabled 

 

Quote

Username:
Comment:

 

ADD US ON FACEBROWSER OR PERISH.

Edited by Al-Malikah
grammar, edited to correct Abbasi's title
  • Upvote 12
  • Applaud 1
Link to comment
1 minute ago, Gryphboi said:

Username: wahhabiwarlord55
Comment: FAKE NEWS, WALLACE ABBASI IS THE RIGHTFUL IMAM LOS SANTOS DESERVES.

Username: LSVIXEN

Comment:  Making the correction now, love. Thank you for your submission!

 

VPN through Morocco

Edited by Al-Malikah
Link to comment
  • Shvag locked this topic
  • Wuhtah unlocked this topic

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...