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[LSVIXEN] Dining Review: Vegetarian Glee at 'Lettuce Be' (4/5)


Al-Malikah

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Dining Review: Vegetarian Glee at 'Lettuce Be' (4/5)

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(Lettuce Be on Portola Drive!)

RATING: ???? (4/5)

 

I'm a woman who enjoys the very simple pleasures in life; handcuffing an attractive and confused man to my bedposts, watching my enemies struggle to find the words to express their sheer unbridled hatred for me, enjoying the beautiful Los Santos sunset after a day at the spa, all of these strike a lovely chord in my cold, dead heart. One of the rarer pleasures I recently provided was dining on Portola Drive without having to take out a mortgage and sell my body on the streets to afford the bill at the end of the meal. My only complaint was a nitpick on the initial wait time due to the unstaffed front desk, but we'll get to that later.

 

The price is right and the food divine.

 

I dined on Portola Drive for less than one thousand dollars and had a glass of wine with my meal that was delightful. I began with the 'charmingly' named 'Figs-in-a-Blanket' along with the Polena Bites with Wild Mushrooms. Now the Figs were a smash mainly because I find goat cheese to be absolutely delicious, but the Polenta bites shone namely due to the well-flavored wild mushrooms. I moved forward to a main entree of strozzapreti and ended with a wooonderful poached pears in a wine sauce. By the end I forgot entirely that it was a completely vegetarian meal and that, my dear fornicators, is the mark of a fine cook! The chef is a German which makes this culinary feat even more unexpected and marvelous! 

 

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(The lovely interior. Well designed, mid-century modern features!)

 

Wonderful staff with an unstaffed front desk! Mixed bag!

 

Here's the entryway loves:

 

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My one teensy weensy complaint that was big enough to knock off a kiss was the fact that when you have an entry way that looks like this, you lead people to believe there will be a staff member behind that desk so when there is none it leads to lingering and confusion. Once I waltzed inside I realized it was more of a seat-yourself situation and adjusted accordingly but be sure next time to put a sign up that indicates for customers what to do when the desk is empty!

 

Especially given the fact that the staff are charming, friendly, and attentive once you're inside! They make you feel right at home and ensure you're attended to well during your meal. Again, the chef is real delight.

 

ALL IN ALL

 

I loved it! I ate quality cuisine on Portola Drive, wined up and dined up, I left happier than I arrived and that is the mark of a fine restaurant. They've earned each and every kiss.

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DISCLAIMER

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LS Vixen (bitch ass) Disclaimer

The LS Vixen is a satire, parody, commentary, critique, news reporting and scholarly web publication, which may or may not use actual names often in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians, celebrities and/or other personalities that are critiqued and/or commented upon, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

 

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2 minutes ago, Angela said:

Username: Angela
Comment: Hi! I've been following your reviews and political humour article! Is there a way to contact you? e-mail or a facebrowser account? I'd love to discuss a couple of things with you. Save my e-mail: [email protected]

Username: LSVIXEN

Comment: I don't play well with others, my therapist says its a problem but fuck them for judging me.

Here's the anonymous gossip submission link, propose whatever you'd like there if you want!! 
https://forms.gle/zU6iYqtefafWKT3i6

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Edited by Al-Malikah
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