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This is the thread of the Adventures of Dean Everett, localized Vinewood scumbag, ex-grad student turned runaway drug addict and party-goer... WHERE HE GOES? NO ONE KNOWS!
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-Dean Everett 08:24 A.M. 2/6/2025 âThe San Andreas Sheriffâs Department isnât a force of law; itâs an ecosystem, a bizarre zoo where power-hungry hogs wallow in the muck of authority, snorting and grunting with a hunger for dominance. A fever dream made flesh, these porcine predators, yes, pigs, through and through, plod down the sun-scorched veins of Blaine County, leaving behind the sour stench of fear, stale whiskey, and the electric buzz of flashlight batteries. It shouldâve been a quiet night. One glass of whiskey, a couple of Oxy, and a slow goodbye to Grapeseedâs indifferent horizon. But fate had other plans, dressed in beige uniforms and pig-snouts, masquerading as deputies with all the moral clarity of a broken vending machine. There they were: three deputies, their faces contorted with the smugness of men who had never been told "no" in their lives. Their flashlights werenât tools, they were instruments of oppression, beams cutting through the night like righteous spotlights, tearing into my very soul. âá§ĆĄĹł Éŕ˝ĹłĹĆ, áŞĹłÉÉá§?â one of them oinked, his breath thick with the stench of stale coffee and a superiority complex. They circled me like buzzards with badges, their questions less about finding answers than inflating their pathetic egos. Each insult they lobbed felt like another brick in the fortress of their fragile power, built high on insecurity and ignorance. They prodded, they goaded, they shone their lights into my face like they could somehow force a confession out of me. What they couldnât see, what their piggy little eyes failed to understand, was that the only thing they were illuminating was the ridiculousness of their own existence. And then there was Caveman. A homeless drug dealer with the aura of a fallen wizard. Imagine Gandalf, if Gandalf traded his staff for a cracked glass pipe and let a lifetime of poor decisions render him mad, yet somehow more coherent than the deputies themselves. Caveman had once drugged my friend at a club, an event not so much horrifying as it was absurd. She thought she was hitting crack from a balloon, but ended up stuck in a K-hole, her brain lost somewhere between the dance floor and oblivion. Meeting Caveman was like shaking hands with chaos itself. His beard, a maze of crumbs and lost secrets, his eyes flickering with the remnants of a thousand bad choices. His words came in fragmentsâcracked wisdom, laced with the kind of manic truth only a street prophet could speak. Earlier that day, I had taken refuge in a bar in Grapeseed, a place steeped in the odor of cheap disinfectant and bad decisions. The bartender was a hulking man, with a beard and ponytail as dark as a Viking's soul. He had the demeanor of a man who'd fought in wars and lost, only to be pressed into the dull task of slinging drinks for a living. His eyes told stories of violence and regret, tales heâd never speak aloud. The whiskey was cheap, but it was a necessary anchor as I floated through the absurdity of Blaine County, a place where everyoneâs hiding something, and no oneâs story is ever finished. Back on the scene, the deputies made their move. They arrested me for DUI, their snouts twitching in self-satisfied glee. Sure, Iâd had my share of whiskey and Oxy, but it wasnât intoxication that put me in that cellâit was their desperate need to assert control, to play the role of tyrants in a kingdom that no one asked for. NOW FOR COMMERCIAL BREAK!! Handcuffed and humiliated, I realized it wasnât justice they were afterâit was theater, a pathetic play where they cast themselves as the stars, all while misunderstanding that fear isnât respect, and authority isnât earned. In the cold, graffiti-scarred walls of the holding cell, I thought about Caveman, the Viking bartender, and the three little pigs who had me cuffed. Each was a different facet of the madness that defines Blaine Countyâa place where the absurd is just another day, and realityâs a joke no oneâs in on. The deputies with their flashlights and fragile authority were nothing more than clowns in uniforms, playing dress-up as protectors. Cavemanâflawed, filthy, and far from âsaneââwas more honest in his madness than the deputies were in their so-called order. And me? Just a witness in the wreckage, trying to piece together a world that makes no sense, all while scribbling feverishly in the margins of it. Blaine County isnât a placeâitâs a story, a dark fairy tale where the pigs wear badges, the wizards sleep on the streets, and the lessons are taught with bruises and breathalyzer tests. The San Andreas Sheriffâs Department can snort and strut all they want. Beneath their pomp and pretense, theyâre just pigs in uniformsâtrapped in the fragility of their own myths. And somewhere, probably laughing somewhere in the back of his mind, Caveman is free. A wizard without a kingdomâbut more freedom than any badge could ever give. ((COMMENTS ARE ENABLED)) ((Username: Comment)) -
-Dean Everett 02:24 A.M. 2/2/2025 Where the sky bleeds neon, and the pavement drinks it like an alcoholic uncle dodging rehab. A sprawling nightmare of glass, steel, and forgotten dreams, stitched together with bad decisions and the hollow promises of billboardsââLive Fast, Die Faster, Sponsored by eCola.â In this city, the air doesnât breathe. It inhales. Lines of white powder mirrored by lines of white luxury cars parked outside Vinewood clubs with names like Oblivion and Lust. DJs with God complexes spin tracks louder than the collective anxiety of their crowd, their beats synched to the rapid-fire heart rates of MDMA-soaked bodies writhing under strobes that flash like seizures. Everything here is syntheticâa plastic utopia built on overpriced drinks and underpaid souls. But beneath Vinewoodâs neon pulse, the real game plays outânot in crypto or contracts, but in powder, pills, and paranoia. The drug trade isnât a shadow economyâitâs the main stage, with Vinewood flipping roles like a junkie desperate for its next fix. While the youth worship at the altar of bass drops and bathroom deals, the older gods ride on. Enter the Sinners MCâgrizzled men on ancient chariots that growl like theyâre pissed off to still be alive. These arenât weekend warriors or Facebrowser-sponsored 99âers. The Sinners are relics, fossilized in leather, stitched together by outdated grudges and whiskey-soaked decisions. They roam the streets like outlaw archaeologists, digging up the bones of a culture buried by a new breed of criminalsâtech-savvy, coked-out, and too polished to know what itâs like to get your hands dirty. The Sinners donât deal in apps or algorithms. They deal in drugs, guns, and violence that doesnât need a retweet to be real. But somewhere between the basslines and bike engines, thereâs a mysteryâmaybe more of an obsession I canât shake. Psychedelics. Not the trendy kind sold in boutique dispensaries with names like Zen Gardens or SoulBloom. I mean the real shit: peyote buttons tucked away in dusty corners of Blaine County, hash handled like ancient relics, marijuana strains so pure they could make a priest question reality, and MDMA that doesnât just get you highâit makes you feel alive. I need to find it. Not for the story, but for the experience. Because somewhere between the "Jump Out Boys" of the Sheriffâs Departmentâ˘ď¸ manifesting like tactical phantoms and the Sinners MC thundering through the night, thereâs a threadâmaybe a breadcrumb trail leading somewhere beyond the high. A mantra wrapped in mystery, hallucination stitched to cold, brutal truth. And speaking of truthâdid you know pigeons canât fart? Random, right? But thatâs the thing about Los Santos: random isnât random. Itâs just Tuesday. Imagine a city where its veins pulse like tangled neon wires, where every beat of the heart is a siren wailing at 3 AM. This is the terrain the Jump Out Boys carve their name intoâmutant cowboys, not with spurs but tactical vests, charging through the streets in armored chariots, cutting through neighborhoods etched in graffiti and reckless decisions. Sirens? Not warningsâbattle cries. Later that night, beneath the flicker of streetlights in Jamestown, West Los Santos, we slid into the chaotic hum of Ranchoâa place stitched together by pride, paranoia, and the unspoken legends of the Travieso Gangsters 13 gang. Their name bled through alleyways, painted on walls in cryptic symbols, a language written in shadows, known only to those who had truly walked its dark streets. Their history wasnât inkâit was fog, laced with the whispers of those brave (or foolish) enough to repeat it. Then, like phantoms from the cracks of reality, the Boys appeared. Not men. No. They were anomalies, creatures wrapped in tactical armor, flickering like heat waves off the cracked pavement. Their visors didnât reflect light. They consumed it, splintering the world into twisted fragments. Their limbsâunnatural, bending in impossible angles, like grotesque marionettes twisted by invisible strings. And how did they talk? Not with wordsâvibrations. Low, bone-shaking hums that filled the air, mixing with the static of radios fused into their bodies, like cyborg shamanic chants. The Travieso gangbangers didnât moveâjust stood there, shadows hardened in defiance, eyes burning with a mixture of fear and bravado against such a foe. Out from the edges of the scene, a kid emerged. Barely old enough to shave, his fresh ink still oozing in dark swirls across his skin. He shouldnât have been there. But youth never respects the weight of ritual. One of the green creatures shiftedâits head cocked at an angle that felt wrongâlike an animal with the mind of a machine. "Ęá´i Ęę ÉÉżęť," it buzzed, its voice a strange mix of distortion and something older, like rust scraping bone. Another one stepped forward, limbs jerking in a grotesque dance, pointing to the kidâs tattoos with a gesture that was part command, part curiosity. "⸎Ǎá´iĘĆÉmoę uoĘ ę ÉĘÉm ę iĘĆ Ęá´iĘĆ uoY" it hissed, the low vibration making the nearby walls tremble, flakes of old paint falling like dust. "ËÉŻÇÉĽĘ ÉšoÉ pÇÇlq noĘ ssÇlun 'suoÄąĘÉÉšoÉÇp ĘĘdÉŻÇâĘÉÉĽĘ ĘsnÉž ÇÉšÉ sloqÉŻĘS" The kidâs posture faltered for a second. His eyes flickered between defiance and fear, like the wires in his head were short-circuiting. "ŕ¸ŕšŕ¸ âŐ ×Ľŕšŕ¸˘Đł ŕšŕ¸˘ŕ¸Łŕšŕ¸ Ńรร," he spat, his voice tight, his words crumbling under the weight of the moment. The air grew thickerâelectric, charged, but not quite sparking. It hung there, too fragile to touch, like the calm before a storm. Across the street, I stood, notebook gripped tight, pulse syncing with the cityâs warped beat. On instinctâor maybe madnessâI stepped forward, waved, just enough to draw their attention. One of the deputiesâor what passed for them nowâturned its gaze toward me. Its visor caught the light, not showing my face, but something fractured, a distorted reflection. For a moment, we locked eyesânot as man to man, but as observer to anomaly. "What do you see?" I whispered, unsure if I said it aloud, or if the words just thudded through my mind. It tilted its head, something like amusementâor annoyanceâetched across its mechanical face. Then, just as quickly, it turned away, the interest evaporating like smoke in the wind. The kid was left standing there, his tattoos no shield against whatever strange data these creatures were collecting in their cold, synthetic minds. No violence. No arrests. Just tension absorbed, moments archived, reality shifting like sand underfoot. And me? I walked away with a notebook full of scribbles that made less sense the longer I stared at them. There was a taste in my mouthâmetallic, like I had just licked the edge of the city itself. And that nagging thoughtâThe Jump Out Boys werenât here to enforce order. No. They were here to watch the collapse. Piece by piece, they were cataloging it all. Maybe thatâs the point. Maybe itâs not. But one thingâs for sureâtheyâre still out there. Engines idling, watching, blurring the lines between reality, ritual, and something far darker. COMMENTS ARE ENABLED ((Username: comment))
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- alyssa malfoy
- drug dealer
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