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  1. The hottest tea, the spiciest gossip, the fiercest commentary and no fucking censorship. We are the Los Santos VIXEN. Hope you've been doing your kegels, babe. Letter from the editor: Sis, stop reading the story and BE the story. Submit your gossip to our handy and under-fucking-utilized gossip submission form. Chop chop. Also Like, Subscribe, Share, is this your first time online? Click HERE ! LSVIXEN XOXO ❤️ A Vixen's Guide: To Communicating Clearly Without Fucking Up (Totally real people with real communication skills /s) Hiya cuties! So I've been flourishing in a golden age for the Vixen and I thought long and hard about what brought me to where I am today. Clear. Direct. Empathetic. Communication. It's more than just saying shit when you think about it. Human nature is a delicate balance of give and take and there are intricacies to our language, our posture, and the timing we use when approaching moments of true and honest communication. I'm not going to pretend this is a golden guide to all your communication issues, that'd be like... a whole ass book. But, I do think if you poke around the few points I mention below, you might be able to at least be a little more mindful of how you approach talking to friends, bosses, dates, and even strangers! Let's dig in! Who the HELL do you think you're talking to? 😲 Woah there, subtitle, you're coming in a little hot there. But you make a good point. Who are you trying to communicate with? Knowing who you're talking to and why is the first step, babes. A cardinal rule of thumb for me is that not every conversational topic is for every person. I had a friend named Tina back on the East Coast and given her spate of four divorces she wasn't great at being supportive of me when I tried to date these twin Albino underwear models. From the start, the topic was colored by her own life experiences and perception of love as necessarily leading to heart-ache and grief. Know your audience. Tina was one of the best people to talk to about work stuff and even trouble with my family. She was a phenomenal friend and just because I wasn't interested in talking about boys with her, doesn't mean I didn't cherish our friendship. Scan your friend groups for a second and notice if certain topics bring up the most trouble in those relationships and decide whether that topic ever really has to come up with them or not. What are their strengths and how meaningful is their support in those areas of your life? Finally, there is no one-stop shop. As much as we want to believe there is one person in the entire world we can confide our everything into, human beings deal with their own stuff and if you put all your eggs in one bastard- well. It can burn them out, babe! This is just to say having a diverse and varied group of lovely humans that you truly adore can lead to a mutual support network that is strong and lasting. And I want to emphasize here, there is zero shame in hiring a shrink and putting some of the pressure onto them, it's literally their job and it gives you the vocabulary and perspective to know who to talk to about what for the best quality communication! Defense Mechanism LIMBO!!! 💃 Shake. Shake. Shake. Senora. Shake your body right under the defense mechanisms for the best results. Difficult topics happen, we're not always going to be able to avoid them and avoiding them usually only makes them worse if you want to keep that lovey-dovey human in your sphere. In this household, we appreciate productive confrontation. It's non-aggressive, empathetic, assertive. and most of all solutions oriented. Yes, it can be all of those things at once. When you're talking with people, you've got to understand that different things can put up emotional and mental walls that make people stop listening and start rabidly defending themselves. This can be as subtle as a raised voice creating a sense of anxiety in the other person, an environment that isn't suitable for conversation due to noise or chaos (Lol. I know. Los Santos. But I mean an immediate environment.), and most importantly the words we choose and the timing we use in saying them. Everyone you know has defense mechanisms and coping mechanisms. It's how we survive in Trauma City without completely breaking down. If you're still reading this, I want you to think about the last few times you spoke with your closest friends. Did you vibe any sort of topics that get them anxious or tense? Did they clam up about particular points of discussion when approached about them? Those are prime defense mechanism territory and the best way to slip under them to address the underlying topics they 'protect' is to approach calmly, in a safe place, checking in with them before talking about it to see if there in a good mental place to do so, and to probably have a hot tea or a stiff drink with them. B-but Vixen, how can I go from being a Stumbling-Lad... to being a Smooth-Talking Chad?! 💋 Practice, babe! What you want to do when talking to people you care about is to establish common ground. If I were to bring up a conflict with my boyfriend, there's a solid way I tend to approach it. First off, before this imaginary conflict, I establish at the beginning of any true relationship, friendship, or even work relationship, that I love honesty and communication. I make sure they know they can come to me with any issues that might crop up from the often messy human dynamics that go into being friends with the LS Vixen. By setting that up ahead of time, it makes them more likely to welcome me when I bring up issues, especially given the fact that I re-establish common ground before every tough discussion. Trouble with a lover? If you tell them that you love them deeply, that you know they love you deeply, and that you're both in this for the same goals, it can eliminate the "US VERSUS THEM" mentality that happens when people feel threatened or attacked. Boss calls you in for a review? Reiterate your commitment, own up to mistakes, be humble but own your victories, and you can both leave the meeting feeling like you're on the same team and on the same page. If you find the common ground isn't so common any more and that the person just sees you as a hostile outsider, well there unfortunately isn't much you can do through communication. One of the big lessons is that we can only change the way we express our feelings, we cannot change the feelings and emotions of others ourselves. We can offer opportunities, support, and space, but the minds, opinions, feelings, and dreams of others are in their wheelhouse. Knowing your lane and knowing what is beyond your control can allow you to forgive yourself for things you've inadvertently blamed on yourself and grief that clings even years later. Woah. You went deep there, Vix. 🥺 Fuck off. I can do what I want, me-from-two-seconds-ago. Seriously though, the journey towards clear communication with the people you love can amp up your sex life, your work life, and generally speaking make you someone people want to talk to. I can say from personal experience that I love those in my life who make me feel like I can truly talk to them and be seen and heard. If more people in Los Santos committed themselves to clear communication, it's not silly to imagine we might have a little less division, hatred, anger, and violence. It wouldn't be perfect, but it'd give us a chance to see each other as allies rather than enemies. God, that was fuckin' sappy. I'm gonna go get laid. VIX OUT! XOXO, DISCLAIMER >Comments are enabled!
  2. An induction to the topic [ Section 0 ] Undoubtedly we have all had characters at some point during our journey into roleplay that have suffered from the issue of Self Insertion. This is something that can affect your attempts to play new and unique characters and is often the cause of people who can only stomach a single character at a time. This guide is going to attempt to focus on why people are Self Inserting themselves into the stories they create on the server and address ways you can come out of your comfort zone and still enjoy your roleplay to the same extent. What is Self Insertion [ Section 1.1 ] Self Insertion is the act of an author writing themselves into their stories as a character and in roleplay commonly describes how we the players will react to situations on our character as we would in real life. In characters that suffer from this you'll often notice a character will react to the majority of situations in the way the author would — and in certain situations, how the author believes they would if that situation occurred. Self Insertion isn't typically a 1:1 conversion of what you yourself would do in a certain situation, I'm sure the majority of chracters who murder and do despicable things aren't psychopaths in the real world. This doesn't mean these characters can't fall under the same issues. Their general personality and actions can easily undermine their overall character by roleplaying based on OOC bias.Their general personality and actions can easily undermine their overall character by acting through OOC bias. Do you Self Insert? [ Section 1.2 ] It's extremely easy to overlook our own issues and flaws in roleplay. I myself, the writer of this guide, have majorly self-inserted throughout many of my characters in different communities. I'm far from a professional writer, it'd be egotistical of me to claim I can entirely divide the characters I write and myself in every single scenario. An example of this is, we all have fine lines we're completely not okay with roleplaying. Subjects rather too sour or close to home that we'll avoid them and in some ways, that is yourself having impact on your character. Here are some questions you can ask yourself, the more of these you answer "Yes" to the more likely you are to be Self Inserting a lot of your characters personality. Does your character have a lot of the same tastes as you? Do they like the same music? Do they like the same kind of cars? Do they watch the same kind of movies or shows? Do they like the same kind of food, the same kind of drinks? Would you be friends with all of your characters friends? The people you surround yourself with are usually based on your own judgement of character, if you find that all of your characters friends are the type of people you yourself would be friends with, potentially your character has the same personality as yourself. Are your IC and OOC relationships intertwined? Yes, this is also mixing. But mixing OOC and IC is the exact same, practically, as Self Insertion. As those you dislike and like out of the game are directly coming into play through your character. Has your character ever lost friendships IC as you've lost a friendship OOC? Do you avoid certain people with your character? On top of these, ask yourself How do I tackle simple, spontaneous choices of my character? When a choice is presented to your character do you react immediately, is there any thought at all or disconnection between your own OOC reaction and the reaction of your character? Is it inherently bad to Self Insert? [ Section 1.3 ] The short answer to this question is no, it isn't actually inherently bad. Though, the vast majority of the time, it will lead to uninspired and boring characters with no real character to tell a story with. Sometimes great things can be made with characters that have some of ourselves inside of their portrayal, there are instances I'm sure where people can point out amazing characters born from this style of roleplaying. But what these characters very rarely have is inspiration, they very rarely tell any compelling story to anybody but yourself. You'll find that most people around you and who roleplay with you are not actually that interested in the development of your character. It is very difficult to get another player interested in the progression of your character. To actually have another person intrigued by the route or journey of your character you need compelling story, this doesn't have to be a main character mentality, simply doing something that is realistic can often have people pay more attention to your character verses somebody who is following their own OOC interests and hording assets, properties and cars. How can I seperate? [ Section 2.1 ] First of all, one of the biggest and most beneficial methods of addressing the issue of separation is actually recognizing that you are doing it in the first place. You'll never overcome the issue if you don't understand or accept that you're doing it in your character. Some Self Insertion is absolutely harmless, one example of this may be liking the same kinds of foods. It's harmless and doesn't really display bad writing. Concept of Anchors? [ Section 2.2 ] This is something a lot of illegal factions and characters already do. It's the concept of anchoring your character to a reference, this should be somebody from the world or environment your character has found themselves in. From movie characters to television characters, or even real life examples. This isn't to say pick a movie character and begin portraying them on a 1:1 basis, but to find an anchor that would fit into your world, the world your character has found themselves in. Be it illegal or legal, and then instead of spontaneously reacting per situation you can ask yourself What would my anchor do in this situation? You'll immediately find that your characters choices will begin to actually differ from your choices in a way that makes more sense, assuming you've picked an anchor that relates to the right envrionment. Don't forget: Movie characters and anchors are written with their own specific personalities and intentional narrative built from their past, use this advice with caution and do not attempt to copy a characters personality but rather take them as a theme to hold yourself to. Do not mimic them, make your own, unique character. Unique Characters done correctly [ Section 2.3 ] As mentioned making a unique character to add interesting roleplay is always amazing to see, there are cases such as mute characters, disabilities, elderly and so forth that need to be done correctly to be done well. Making a unique character can be interesting and captivating to see and roleplay with however, only when it's done correctly. Make sure your intentions are in the right place when making characters that are extremely unique there are always other ways to seperate yourself and create good roleplay. Don't let your OOC Sexuality dictate your Character [ Section 2.4 ] One example being; Now, this is certainly a controversial topic in the server. We're going to write over it briefly. Lesbian roleplay is a form of roleplay that is not always but commonly derivative of how your sexuality is formed out of character. Lesbian roleplay can be done correctly and properly. The reason the topic of Lesbian and Bi-Sexual characters is so commonly heated is due to the fact of some inaccurate portrayal. A good amount of female characters if not the majority of them are roleplayed by males OOC and this can often cause them to lean into the portrayal of making a Lesbian character naturally as they do not wish to roleplay with the same sex in a romantic fashion. We should never belittle or harass a player when they choose any sexuality with their character however when making a Lesbian character you should seek to ask yourself what are your reasonings for doing so? Are you looking to educate or engage yourself in a new kind of roleplay or scene of roleplay? Does it make sense for that character to be Lesbian with the people and world they've surrounded themselves in? Don't let your OOC gender or sexuality lead you and instead create a character with their own unique set of traits. Let go of that main character [ Section 2.5 ] This is advice I myself have always struggled with following as at some point, you've put so much time and care into a character that it feels almost impossible to let it go. And this is a choice we'll all make at one point or another. Be it a day one character or simply a character you've fallen in love with. The simple fact is, a good majority of the time; Once a character has gone on for hundreds and sometimes thousands of hours, you will get less and less good roleplay out of that character for other people. And this is where Self-Inserting can begin to seep its way into even amazing roleplayers. Deciding to let a long-term character go to begin fresh with a new concept will always be a difficult choice, it's sure to spark new creativity and spark more engaging, intriguing characters as you can use all of your experience to set your character goals and a past that makes them a wonder to roleplay with for other people. But actually letting those hours go is difficult. One thing to remember is nothing is ever lost. Roleplay is about the experience you create for others and the memories you have yourself of the stories you told. It doesn't have to last forever to be a good story. The impacts [ Section 3.1 ] The negative impacts of playing a Self Insert character. Becoming frustrated and angry OOC over IC incidents When your character is a direct implication of yourself it is much harder to prevent mixing feelings. You will find more often you'll be facing situations where your OOC self is becoming upset and salty over things that are happening to your character. This can just as easily work in reverse, being upset IC with people whom have instead upset you OOC. Falling into common cliche and tropes As briefly mentioned with Lesbian roleplay, this is one of many examples where self-inserting can, at times effect major things about your characters personality. This is by far not the only example and there are others such as tastes, reactions, and so on. Struggling to roleplay more than a single character If the only character you play is a direct copy of yourself or has majority of your traits, it can be hard to ever make a new character. All of your characters will blend into one single character and between two seperate characters they'll share much of the same traits, music tastes, friends and beyond. Don't be belittled or demotivated [ Section 4.0 ] Never let anybody belittle or insult you for Self Inserting your character, the majority of us are not professional writers, we come onto World and into the realm of roleplay to simply chill out and have some enjoyment telling stories with other players. I myself and most likely, if you're not lying to yourself; you have at some point been in situations where your character has acted more like you than you would like, or than is realistic for that character. The origin of your character never dictates its destination. A special thanks [ Section 5.0 ] @BantaMan - Aiding with opinions for the guide. @Hood - Aiding with opinions for the guide, ❤️ lovely support member. ❤️ 4 other silent and/or anonymous contributors. ❤️ Regarding Grammatical and Spelling issues [ Section 5.1 ] I have mild dyslexia so writing isn't always the most coherent. If you notice any mistakes please tell me as you notice them and I'll fix them as soon as you send them to me! I apologize in advance.
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