Manco

((A photo of the writer, taken in the deep concrete jungles of LS)) Chapter 1: First Things First This is a crazy city but just like any other I must survive and get to the bottom of it just like any other city in America. I immediatly rented out a Blista from the Airport with an empty check. It'll take them some time to find me. I made my way to some motel in the back streets that would put the whorehouses in Banghok to shame but we'll talk about this later. After settling down in my room, I was hungry for some action and some high-quality Mexican blow, but more of the blow. I made it out with my Acapulco shirt and shorts and made my way in to the city. The first person I meet is some brown guy, that called himself Rakama or something, that was trying to push me these Punisher shaped X. I'd be happy to pop a couple but I was coming down from acid from the blotter I took in the plane so I didn't really wanted to mess up with my high BUT this was a great opportunity to get into the side of the town I was interested in and also to get a ride in to somewhere in town, my legs were fucking killing me. Turns out our little pusher-boy works as a Barista so we go to his workplace to drink some beans harvested by Latin-American slaves. Fucking fascist pigs... Anyways, the cafe is fucking closed but Rakama has a solution. Five minutes later, I'm on the phone with the owner of the place. A fat dyke called Madson or Madison or something. She's obviously uncomfortable but must be a greedy cow because she comes to open his shop in couple of minutes. After getting inside, I order a black American and of course the fatso gets offended. I remembered why I don't like this town straight away. I drink it as soon as possible and walk away like nothing happened. I have no money at all, and definetly no money to waste on shitty caffeine. After I leave with some free coffee in my belly some punk kid hits a car with his bicycle, while the owner is there. This is when my vulture insticts kick in. I ask for some compensation for the man so that I can pocket some of it as a good samaritan. My investigative processes need some investment after all. This midget starts talking some kind of a knock-off trap rapper straight away: "Nigga" this "nigga" that. I can't take it anymore so I give him a surprise pocket baking-soda rather than sand (we are not in LS after all) and get the hell out of there. Luckily I got a box of this stuff from some Indian corner-store. I went back to my motel after this and surfed the web for some bikes. Some bastard from Redneck-County asks me for thirty-one large ones so... I tell him where to shove it and hang up. After getting some rest and getting boozed on quart of Rum, I leave my room and get a taxi. I tell her where can I get wasted, fuck, snort and scratch some fleas all at the same time. She obliged and we made our way. I wasn't planning to pay her but she wasn't the smartest one to remember to turn on the counter. Stupid twat. While cruising and chatting, some Chink hits our car and just like before we are out of the car asking for compensation. I like this girl so I'm more inclined to push him more. His accent is really doing my head in and one thing leads to another, we start exchanging hands. Everyone knows that Chinks can't fight so his friends jump in. I get couple of punches in but I am in no hurry to get knocked out in my first days in LS. While this is happening, I realise this girl, Ivy, has more balls than all these Chinks combined. She takes out a big, fuck-off size, bat from his taxi and starts breaking some cock-sucking heads but like I said the yellow man are not really the bravest so the moron pulls out his piece in the middle of the street. While all this is happening, a fire marshal comes by but like we all guessed she can't do anything. She goes ahead and TAZES the wrong fucking guy and the Chink makes a run for it. I always said I hate pigs and they won't dissapoint all the time. I think this is all for now. I think I like this town. There will be more dark, head-ache inducing to come and I will of course write no matter what. Stay strong, fuckers.