"Sobriety is a terminal illness... my thoughts, prayers, and pity to those without the cure."
-Katarina Kaczmarek, 3AM coke binge musings, 2020
Only two things are entirely certain about Katarina the Dumpster Kitten;
She loves inebriation, and would lie to the Devil's face for the laugh of it.
A homeless junkie living out of the Beer City dumpsters, Kat's an unfortunately common sight to the Vespucci night life. She's often found trying (and failing) to enter various establishments, in search of booze, cigarettes, or anything else illicit she can get her willowy hands on.
"-look, please let me have a drink... I'm just trying to hit the 'fast-forward' button on this miserable life. Skip the line to get my wings, feel me?"
-Katarina Kaczmarek, Beer City bartender negotiations, 2020
Few people can tolerate her for long, and vice-versa. Typically, one's patience runs dry once she starts rambling about the Establishment and the Social Contract and Call Me Ishmael, usually under the influence of something. Kat's patience, however, typically disappears shortly after she's gotten what she wanted from them. Drugs, money, a ride, a favor.
Kat's oddly verbose and extensive vocabulary gets her into about as much trouble as it gets her out of it. Coupled with a razor wit and poor survival instinct, she's had a few close calls in her time. In tandem with her nihilistic tendencies and placid disregard for anything serious, these traits make for poor bedfellows.
"... why're you flashing a waistband gun? We're just vibin'... like, you're being a real dick noodle... oh fuck, cop, there's a cop! -be cool, put that shit up."
-Katarina Kaczmarek, discourse with a very confrontational racist Davis gangbanger, 2020
At her core, deep down in her tangled roots, Kat's just a displaced youth with misplaced morals. Another intelligent girl who made too many mistakes to really go anywhere except down. Left to stalk the alleys and slums in search of some novel self-destructive experience.
"I've never double-barreled before... ah well, curiosity killed the cat, you know. Let's make it a night to remember and a death worth talking about. Salud!"
-Katarina Kaczmarek, moments before slamming back hard liquor and sleeping pills, 2020