luigikuik Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 (edited) San Andreas Action News Welcome to the San Andreas Action News website. Here you will find the best and most legit news ever made and the news that is crucial to your day to day life. We want you to understand just how important the events are that we speak about here. If you ever read something that might contest our claims you can dismiss it as fake news. We have hired the most pristine fact checkers of the entire state. These people will make sure that whatever you read is fact checked, however we don't have the budget to actually act on what they say, nor do we speak Spanish. We wish to hear what you, the people think about our articles in the comments. We hope you get informed by our articles. History Bruce Dewitt started his career as an actor on a show called Memewatch where he would act as a professor explaining the science behind certain memes. When the company expended into news articles Bruce started writing articles and the company was named Los Angeles Action News. His first article about local government corruption made him and the company rather famous. When the CEO retired he appointed Bruce to take over the company as it was heading into a golden age in both revenue and fame. After a few years of entertaining the people with shows and articles Bruce quit LAAN and focused on other endeavors. Now he is in Los Santos and will do his best to entertain and inform the people. Vision When we see the current state of the news we are deeply appalled by it. All the articles are about boring things like elections, pandemics and war. We seek to change this and make news something someone can read without feeling existential dread. News articles that someone can laugh about and tell his or her friends about. We want to be your number one news source! Mission How are we going to achieve this goal you might ask. We have the most trained staff members from all over the state. Every single one of our employees has at least a physical degree in their trade and more than 20 years experience. This goes for the writers and those who bring me coffee during breaks. With all these advantages it is only a matter of time that SAAN becomes the number one news platform. However we can't do it without your help. If you enjoy what you read, do share it with your friends and leave a like or comment. Contact Bruce Dewitt and his cronies run the show around here so if you want to contact them you can talk to Bruce in person or you can leave a comment in the comment section. Those who really feel adventurous can talk to the President, Gaston Faubert in Belgium. A SAAN dedicated phone will most likely be appointed in the future. Articles Los Santos rejoiced by the announcement of SAAN, Reckless taxi driver backed by police, Ricers can't catch a break, Watch out criminals Karen is on the case, Is murder still worth it?, Milk drinking Bandit escapes a prison sentence, Lizard people spotted in Los Santos according to locals, Edited May 6, 2020 by luigikuik 4 1 Link to comment
Ketamine Kowboy Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Oh, this will be interesting. Link to comment
LSNN Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Good-luck friends, nice to see other outlets, Link to comment
dionkoffie Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 Saaaan. I've missed Bruce lmao. Good you're back with saan. Link to comment
HaveADream Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 Archived due to inactivity. Link to comment
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