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There once was a boy named Frank. Frank didn’t like home very much. His mom died when he was born and his dad reminded him of this traumatic entrance to the world every chance he got. Frank’s dad had this cough—wait, why should I try to explain? Here are Frank’s words: “It all started when I heard my old man cough. His cough had that pflegmmy sound, ya’know? Like a dog choking on a bone, fuckin’ gaggin’ after excitedly tryin’ to chomp down somethin’ that’s too huge to fit through its fuckin’ windpipe. This cough.. This fuckin’ cough drove me crazy. My old man was a janitor at the school. He’d been breathing those cleaning chemicals for too long. Always scrubbing little kids piss out of the bathroom floors while these chemicals broke down the inside of his lungs turning his cilia into fuckin slime for him to hack up and spit out. He’d always complain about how much soap they used. He’d say, “why do they use so much goddamn hand soap? Are they that bad at going to the bathroom?!!”.

 

“The night of my 16th birthday he reminded me about mom, again. While he was screaming at me, I tried to leave the house and he kept fuckin blocking me, sayin’, “where do you think-*cough* you’re goin?!!”. I pushed him against the front door; he was weak and old now, and I was just gettin some hair on my nuts, becoming a fuckin man. When he fell, he didn’t stop fuckin coughing. THIS FUCKIN COUGH, I still hear it to this day. I dropped to my knees next to him in the doorway and fit my fuckin mitts around his neck TO MAKE HIM FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. He fuckin gasped as his eyes bugged outta his fuckin head and the tears streamed down his face, this fuckin’ cocksucker mouthing the words “Son, stop”. Now he calls me son. He finally stopped coughing, with my help. Life is funny in a kinda fucked up way. I killed my mom when I was born. When I was coming out of her and entering into this world, I killed her. You see, I was born a killer... and never had the chance to be something else.

 

Frank was caught shorty after murdering his father and he was sentenced as a criminally insane juvenile. Inside the cuckoos nest (Hope Medical College and Mental Hospital) Frank felt like a king. Half of these turds were fried from the daily downers and the others were so far gone that their intense straight jacket attitudes made Frank feel normal. He felt happy. He believed these individuals were “real people” and everything and everyone outside was fake due to them lacking free will.

Here, Frank met Steven. Steven was an overweight, schizophrenic teenager with bipolar tendencies. Frank and Steven became great friends after bonding over their love of cats. Frank loved Steven like a younger sibling and admired his “real” free will. Frank watched Steven masturbate in the cafeteria, throw tantrums in the medicine line, fight several “white shirts” and violently resist his medicine. One day, Steven mercilessly beat a nurse to death for no apparent reason. When Steven was being dragged away, frank had tears in his eyes, screaming to ask Steven why he did this? Steven responded: “She didn’t fuck me!”. That was the last time Frank saw Steven.

 

At 18 Frank was released to his aunt Carol, but left her house after his first night. Carol hasn’t been seen since and there’s no record of a “Carol” in Frank’s family.

When frank got out, there was major culture shock. He got a job at Cluckin’ Bell and felt numb to the world. He hated this fake society he was released to exist in. This is where Frank’s view of the world and his own don’t quite line-up.

 

Frank supplemented his existence with street drugs, typically consuming excessive amounts of cocaine and acquiring massive debts with his local drug dealers. Frank lost his job at Cluckin’ Bell, after he was found masturbating in to the deep fryer, during an overnight cleaning session. Frank had hit rock bottom. Mid-20’s, no job, no house, no friends. He was out of drugs and hated the world he lived in. Frank was walking out of the alley where he lived, in hopes to go score more coke off some dealer with payment of an empty promise when he bumped into a teenager. This kid was a lost punk with a Mohawk, but Frank didn’t see a scrawny teen in the leather jacket, Frank saw Steven. That’s when something clicked inside Frank’s ever-fucked up head. He can start his own society that respects each individuals free will.

 

Frank began to feel like he was back in the looney bin. The problem for the rest of the world, is that he wasn’t. He began recruiting, robbing drug dealers, stealing motorcycles to cut through the society’s bullshit (traffic), so his club could move at their own intended pace. They would lie, cheat, steal, love, fight, kill and die to whom and whatever they wanted. They were free. Living in alleys and under bridges, frequently eating trash and roadkill, the crew quickly took the insult they frequently received and owned it: SCUM (SOCIETY CAN’T UNDERSTAND ME). Frank always had a fascination with serial killers, specifically the one who spoke about free will and had a small society of psychopaths in the desert. Frank had a plan of when they had enough cash, to move to the famed Grand Senora Desert, where they can build their society. This was referred to as Frank’s plan.

 

Lets fast forward to what I'm fucking watching now.

 

Jane Wendy Gacy reporting live from Liberty City, where a local man and leader of the notorious motorcycle club called SCUM MC was arrested and charged with multiple counts of murder, torture, dismemberment, possession and illegal distribution of firearms, drugs and human trafficking charges. The police are not releasing any additional information about the scene upstairs, but we’ve witnessed several detectives and uniformed officers vomiting in the hallway of the suspect’s apartment. We’ll keep you updated as we find more. Jane Wendy Gacy, Weazel News LC.”

 

“Yeah, hey Chuckie, it’s Mantis. They got Frankie. We gotta fuckin disappear, man—LC ain’t safe no more and we gotta rollout Frank’s plan. This shits fuckin’ FUCKED. We gotta get out to the Grand Senora.”

 


 

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