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The hottest tea, the spiciest gossip, the fiercest commentary and no fucking censorship. We are the Los Santos VIXEN. Hope you've been doing your kegels, babe. Letter from the editor: Sis, stop reading the story and BE the story. Submit your gossip to our handy and under-fucking-utilized gossip submission form. Chop chop. Also Like, Subscribe, Share, is this your first time online? Click HERE ! LSVIXEN XOXO ❤️ Club Review: Biting the Bank Fee and Leaping Into 'The Vault' (4/5) (The Vault, located in Pillbox Hill.) Rating: 💋💋💋💋 Babes, when I say it's been a week, it's been a fucking week. I've had everything from death threats to getting tossed into a mosh-pit head first, but also some shiny moments. Finding really sweet girlies to hang out with who are both fun and smart, taking drives to the countryside and meeting a bonafide cowgirl, and generally getting to really know this city I've chosen to forge my destiny in. A mixed bag for sure, but one area of consistency is my desire to get absolutely reckless and dancy and hit nightclubs that seem fun, cute, and spicy. Thus, one golden night, I found myself at The Vault A Stylish Entry with a Punch to the Gut Cover! 🤪 (How fucking stunning is she. On brand.) Well, babes, I'm gonna be real with you. As I've said in past reviews, this girlie is none-too-fond of cover charges. I get it. We need some kind of filter at the door to keep the stabby, shooty, and assholes out. So all I really ask is that it's reasonable. The $700 bucks at the door is a little dicey for me babe. I paid for a friend and dropped $1400 bucks that would have went to the bar (which surprisingly offset the cost of the door!) This isn't a major, major issue. A lot of work went into the decor, it's sleek, it's fashionable, it's cute, so I totally get it. But it's also my blog and I have rules and the rule with covers is if it irritates me, it's one Kiss off five. Them's the rules. Cute entry though! Clubby-bubbies, cute babes, & hot dudes in streetwear! 🎉 (The hottie crowd and sickening DJ.) (11/14: DJ MUTAAANT, click for his FB!) Zero fucking complaints about the crowd and the DJ. The DJ was bumping consistently and it was a solid vibe through and through, the crowd didn't shit themselves on the dancefloor, stab one another, and they actually fucking danced which is rarer than I'd like it to be. I was happy as a clam swimming between the extremely accessible bar to the dance factory floor. I grooved my ass off and for no particular reason I was consistently up, up, up in mood. I'm going to attribute it to the music, the lighting, and my general body chemistry at the time. Clothes-wise, it was a mixed bag. As usual the chicks were breaking out the stylish looks and the dudes were wearing hoodies and T-shirts. So basically if you're a dude, if you do literally anything to stand out, it'll be notable and hot. Girlies, we always have to turn up. It is our blessing and our curse. YEE! 11/14 UPDATE: Hey cuties! I wanted to update that the DJ was the one and only DJ MUTANT who kicks a lot of Techno and Drum and Bass. Find him here if you want to give this lovely a follow or a like sometime, babes! Humans! Humans EVERYWHERE! 💛 (The crowd was evenly dispersed between two floors! Glory, fucking glory.) Let me be super real with you, cuties. A two story club can be a risk. One of the risks is that everyone is on one floor and the other acts like a vestigial arm that just flops on the side for random drug use and threatening conversations. At The Vault because of the fucking magnificent architecture, the upstairs is neatly and tidily integrated into the space. Hopping upstairs is a quick elevator ride and doesn't take you out of the experience, but it does give you a breather from the busy main floor. I like this a lot. My friend was having drinks with a cute girly upstairs for an cozy chat while I was playing the wrecking ball on the dance floor. Popping up to see her was easy and cozy. Big big big fucking props to the interior designer. They deserve an award. And money. LAST BUT NOT FUCKING LEAST, MY WATER GODDESS 🌊 (My angel. My saint. My queen. My Water-Mommy) Hey, so it turns out in clubs, girls like me get super-duper fucking thirsty. This absolute unit above provided me exactly what I needed when I needed it for a reasonable price. If you see her, treat her well. I have no idea what her name is, but I will forever see her as my water goddess as I was about to dehydrate because of 🎉reasons🎉 and Queen Saint over here came to my fucking rescue with a free bottle of water. Tip her. Make it rain. Bless the rains down in Africa. You know the deal. ALL IN ALL Baby dolls, I had a fun night. What can I say? A lot of the time I go to a club and it's a flaccid mess. Just a blear of meh that's barely worth writing about (which is why you don't see too many 1, 2, and 3 star reviews honestly). The Vault executed a stylish concept with reasonably priced drinks, a solid DJ set and curated a fun crowd, but the entry price is a little cutting and they could instruct folks at End of Night a little better on the alternate exit used, but the final two points are super minor in comparison to the benefits. If my biggest issue with your place is that it hit my wallet a little harder than I'd like and there's some crowd flow adjustments that could be made, you've got a golden motherfucking spot babes. TLDR: Put your money into the Vault, withdraw stylish fun. XOXO, DISCLAIMER >Comments are enabled!